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Author Topic: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?  (Read 244 times)

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Offline Gemmal

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I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« on: April 13, 2014, 01:53:02 PM »
I have the symptoms of Hodgkin's lymphoma , and I know I have had tests and a chest x ray but I just think sometimes we know our bodies deep down and something's going on .

It's two and a half years since these symptoms started and now I know I'm going to fall ill and it's going to be way too late to help me !!

I know this sounds so irrational maybe I'm just having a bad day but I really don't know I know my doctors are going to be sick of me .
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2014, 01:59:35 PM »
When we have HA, we can't trust our feelings.  Remember that not trusting the tests and the Drs is a hallmark of HA.

If you've had tests and chest X-rays…you don't have lymphoma!  You wouldn't still be the same a year and a half later if you had it.
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Offline Gemmal

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Re: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2014, 02:11:38 PM »
Thanks soaring falcon ! I guess I just have to admit it's anxiety taking over it's just becoming real difficult .

I imagine I would be evidently ill or Actually dead but it's just so ridiculous that I can't quite get my head around this
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Offline Allytiel90

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Re: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2014, 02:52:12 PM »
What are your symptoms? My scariest is my night sweats every night... 5 months now.
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Offline Gemmal

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Re: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2014, 02:58:26 PM »
Sorry to hear that ally ! I haven't had the sweats ( yet) :(

I'm itchy quite a lot , tired , have a cough , some nodes , the usual daily worries and I know they can all be anxiety related ! Just wish my mind would accept .

I even spoke to an oncologist online last night . Re assurance really isn't the answer .

I also have the pain with alcohol when I drink I feel my whole body aches the next day , again I think my mind is actually producing these symptoms ( my oncologist said that ) not sure if I believe it lol !

The only comforting thing is I have put on a stone ( stress eating )

It's funny because I'm happy I have no weight loss but miserable with how I look , I know that if I start a diet and lose weight I will tell myself it's lymphoma
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Offline Gemmal

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Re: I have a bad feeling about this . Or I really have lost it ?
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2014, 05:40:41 PM »
This has ruined my Sunday . My hearts pounding I'm sweating a feel sick with worry :( I am lying in bed shaking And crying .

I'm going to be one of those people who gets diagnosed so late and will have a certain number of months left 😔
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