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Author Topic: I'd like some opinions.  (Read 634 times)

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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2014, 08:07:31 PM »
Its funny how despite this being the 21st century and residing in some of the freest societies in the world, so many people feel the need to be “normal” or “successful” by having offspring. ::) How so many women feel the pressure to do so by a certain stage of their lives. It should be a choice, pure and simple. Not a fashion statement. Nor a reflection on us. People who get so worked up over childless women/couples... seriously, don't they have enough to worry about in their own lives nowadays? :laugh3:

You prefer writing people into existence? :winking0008: Although I’m not that gifted imagination-wise my ex was a writer who enjoyed creating and developing characters. She used to spend evenings away from me in order to pursue her writing, it was important to her. Although not a writer myself, it’s a great creative outlet for some people which I can appreciate becomes very important to them. It seems to be a great method of self-expression.

It sounds like it’s the companionship you miss with your ex. For me, I always like to think of a relationship as having someone there to share your life with, someone you're comfortable enough with to spend your days with whether they be happy or whether they be not so great, to give support to them and be supported in return as a team. The pair of you dealing with life together. A bond you share which you work on throughout the relationship to strengthen, to deepen. Nowadays I don’t think that aspect is given as much importance as it used to.
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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2014, 08:15:00 PM »
A fashion statement, that's a good one.  True, though.

A very good outlet.  That's how I dealt with things when it began; with a short story, making it into a comedy.  Because honestly, it was pretty easy to turn it into a comedy and laugh at it but I guess my "laugher" is broken now.

It's definitely not.  I think a lot of people are just in a hurry because they don't want to end up alone, so they pick someone too early.  A lot of the people I graduated with were married within the year and I really wonder how many are divorced by now.  I'm not saying it can't happen but I don't think a majority of them were ready for that.  I knew some of them pretty well.  I think a lot of that went like "well, my BFF got married so now we should too".
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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2014, 04:03:19 PM »
Well, I certainly hope your laughter is restored to what it once was soon. :sad0126:

Its not surprising that divorce is so high nowadays based on what you say regarding those who graduated with you... if marriage is to be a lifetime commitment, then its not something that should ever be rushed! :happy0062: Taking your time to make sure you get it right, that you're sharing your life with the One that's for you, is its own reward for all the patience and hard effort.

I don't think marriage carries the same weight, importance or meaning for people as it once did. Its easy to get into and even easier to get out of. In that sense, I do agree with the elderly! To a certain extent even marriage has become something of a fashion statement; particularly amongst the attention seeking amongst the rich and famous. Some of the wedding ceremonies are just crass stage theatre. Not what I'd want immortalised on video and photograph to remind me of the happiest day of my life! :laugh3:

Regards,
Gen.

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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #18 on: April 20, 2014, 04:17:17 PM »
I agree, since hopefully I'll only be getting married once, if I do!  In school, I had VERY few friends with married parents.  I was one of the rare.  Mine were married once and have been together since, not looking to change.  My aunt and uncle are the same, and my grandmother would be too if her husband hadn't passed away.  She never re-married.  I think a lot of how you look at love is how you see your parents acting.  I've had a pretty good influence on everything, thankfully.
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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #19 on: April 20, 2014, 06:15:09 PM »
My parents were never married neither, although they were together a long time. In a way I'm relieved they never married, as my father was pretty abusive and despite being his only child he never wanted me. My parents finally split when I was 14, after which time he had little to do with me except when he'd show an interest in making up with me, only for me to discover that it was only ever to try and get influence over my mother (whom he regarded almost as his property). I haven't seen him in years... in fact, I wouldn't even know if he was alive or dead. The decision to cut contact was mine, I'd had enough of him and his mind games. He became pretty weird too, something I wasn't comfortable with. Since then my life became a lot more pleasant!

My grandparents were both married; both happily. I spent a lot of time being brought up by my grandparents, it was a nice stable environment. My mother loved me greatly but with bipolar issues she wasn't always able to cope well. Despite that she did her best, and did remarkably well. :winking0008:





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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #20 on: April 20, 2014, 06:21:29 PM »
Oh, mine are married.  I meant they hadn't married anyone else before THEY got married to each other.  :yes:

I'm sorry to hear how your dad turned out.  At least you made a good choice about it and have felt better since.  Knowing you're unwanted must be an awful feeling, though.

Grandparents are great.  I wasn't close to my dad's parents at all (they were quite mean to my mom). 
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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #21 on: April 21, 2014, 09:34:34 AM »
Sorry, I think I'm responsible for the slight confusion here. :winking0008: I meant that my parents were unmarried neither like most of your friends.

Well, my father may never have appreciated me but that's his loss! :laugh3: Thankfully I was appreciated - by my mother, my sibling, my uncles, my grandparents. I was fortunate to have a loving family growing up which more than made up for his deficit.

I'm not bitter. He made his choice and I made mine.

As for my father's parents... yes, they weren't overly fond of my mother neither. They seemed to feel he settled for someone who was rather beneath him. Then again my mother didn't see it as necessary to get along with the family of your partner, so she couldn't have cared less. I wasn't that close to my father's family and have never seen them again, even though I look unmistakeably like them, sadly!

Best wishes,
Gen.
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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2014, 10:41:12 AM »
Oh, sorry about that!  Yesterday was pretty distracting around here so I must have been half awake or something.

I feel I was fortunate in that regard too.  What's that line from the Willy Wonka song?  "If you want to see paradise, simply look around and see it".  I really like that.  We have a lot to be appreciative of that we don't realize most of the time.

I'm not sure who I most look like.  Probably my mom's side.  We all have those Native American brown eyes, and are petite.  I think my lack of patience came from my dad, most certainly!  :P
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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #23 on: April 21, 2014, 11:47:45 AM »
No no, when re-reading my response from the other day i can see i wasn't very clear. No worries. :winking0008:

Willy Wonka. Believe it or not we have that on DVD somewhere in our house. :laugh3: The original one, not the later one.

All the women of my family are petite. Barely 5 ft tall! On the other hand i take after my father... i'm over 6 ft tall, dwarfing the rest of the household. My family like my choice in ladies because every one i've ever been interested in were petite. Some barely came up to my shoulder! :laugh3: They do say men are often attracted to women that remind them of their mothers; although i hope thats not the case with me! :sprachlos020:

You know the saying though... "good things come in small packages"! I do find though that generally in my experience, right enough, petite women do have a habit of lacking patience! :P :laugh3: Of course, i'm only joking. :happy0151:

At least you have interesting eyes! My eyes are merely bog standard green. An everyday eye colour in these parts. ::)

Thanks again,
Gen.
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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #24 on: April 21, 2014, 12:10:48 PM »
Yep, I meant the original one.  You can't beat that version.

I'm somewhere between 5 foot and 5 foot 1!  :laugh3:  I should just claim to be part hobbit and move on.  Oh wow, that's tall!  My cousin is super tall, like that.  It's so funny because he'll come in and there's me and my mom and grandma, and we're all really short and he can just stand out, walking around in there.  His head almost touches the door frame.

Haha, I don't know anything about that!  I think height differences in relationships can be cute, though!

 :laugh3: I wouldn't doubt that.  Maybe patience is handed out by the inch!

Oh don't say that, I love green eyes!  It's not all that common here.  I've known a ton with brown and a lot with blue, but not many with green.  Plus I don't think mine are interesting.  They're so dark they can appear black.  You need a flashlight to find my pupils.  I never liked them.
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Offline GenSec

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2014, 05:17:05 PM »
Hiya Snowy!

Aye, height differences can indeed be cute! My girfriend is about 5ft tall whilst i'm quite tall myself, and she's so sweet and adorable! :-* I've always had a weakness for petite ladies but she takes the biscuit for me in wee bonnie cuteness! :happy0062:

You strike me as quite patient here... perhaps you are just being too harsh on yourself. :winking0008:

Your eyes sound beautiful let alone interesting; definitely more eye catching them bog standard green! ::) Come over here andd you'll find all the green-eyed people you could ever want to meet! :laugh3: My girlfriend has the prettiest eyes i've ever seen, so distinctive that i've never seen eyes quite like hers. :-*

Regards,
Gen,



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Offline Snowy

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Re: I'd like some opinions.
« Reply #26 on: May 20, 2014, 09:43:03 AM »
Quote from: GenSec
Hiya Snowy!
Hi Gen!  Been a while since we chatted here!  :winking0008:

Quote
Aye, height differences can indeed be cute! My girfriend is about 5ft tall whilst i'm quite tall myself, and she's so sweet and adorable! :-* I've always had a weakness for petite ladies but she takes the biscuit for me in wee bonnie cuteness! :happy0062:
There's a certain feeling of safety that comes with being with a taller man, I think.  Especially if you're a short lady!  I think people assume I'm younger a lot, not only because of my height but my face as well.  That could be because I don't wear a lot of make-up like a lot of women my age.

Quote
You strike me as quite patient here... perhaps you are just being too harsh on yourself. :winking0008:
I do seem to have a good handle on my patience lately!  I tend to have a lot more when I'm generally happy.  :-*

Quote
Your eyes sound beautiful let alone interesting; definitely more eye catching them bog standard green! ::) Come over here andd you'll find all the green-eyed people you could ever want to meet! :laugh3: My girlfriend has the prettiest eyes i've ever seen, so distinctive that i've never seen eyes quite like hers. :-*

Regards,
Gen,
Ah yes, my boyfriend has green eyes, so don't knock it!  :bigsmile:  You would have a unique eye color here, unlike me!  Though I haven't seen many people with eyes quite as dark as mine, I'll give you that.
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