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Author Topic: I think people think I'm reta***d  (Read 182 times)

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Offline Cmack23

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I think people think I'm reta***d
« on: April 12, 2014, 07:27:06 AM »
I've always been a very shy, awkward and clumsy person. I blame much of my social anxiety on isolation and not interacting enough with others (Unless I had to) throughout my child hood and my early adult life, to now.

I have friends, but only two really close friends, who I can I can 'sort of' be myself around.
In Public, it's a nightmare, though; especially at work. I'm always in this state of high alert, whereby I will jump on eye contact with someone. This really distresses me. I'm on Pregabalin and Mirtazapine, but I'm sure I've built a tolerance to both of these meds.

I just can't relax around people. It's like I strongly believe that my anxiety and nervousness is so obvious to overs, so I try to act normal, but this just backfires and makes me act more awkward. Constantly In my head I'm saying to myself: "Act normal!, act normal!, act normal!"

There are only around four people who I work with that I can sort of relax around and even then I still have this awkwardness, this overwhelming fear of their views on me. It's like everything I say is rehearsed, because I just couldn't risk saying things off the top of my head. I also think people think I'm a bit slow, although I'm definitely not- I graduated last year with a 2:1 degree in Business, so academically I did excel, yet I still always worry that overs think I'm stupid or 'not all there'.

How can I shake this horrible sense of paranoia?
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Online tinam7

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Re: I think people think I'm reta***d
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2014, 07:43:06 AM »
Sure can relate, having spent years analyzing the origins. Feel I've made some progress with the help of CBT, varied exercise, meditation. Understand how my early years contributed to that sense of insecurity, self doubt, lack of a sense of self worth, etc.

It takes work, reading, journaling, thinking, reconditioning the brain. But with patience, dedication, persistence we can make progress. Be hopeful, confident, optimistic.
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