It's been a couple months since I've posted on here and I'm glad to say that I've definitely been making progress but I'm not where I want to be yet. I've been seeing a counselor and I'm on a couple meds to help reduce anxiety levels, but I'm totally not out of the woods yet.
As many of you know, my worst fear in life is having ALS or MS and constantly thinking about these diseases absolutely terrifies me and makes it hard to function in my life. The main problem for me is the feeling of being constantly tuned-in about having one of these illnesses, and it seems that I've been seeing more references to people with ALS or MS in the media and through people talking around me than ever before in my life. For example, the super bowl commercial featuring Steve Gleason who has ALS has always just happened to come up while I'm watching t.v. During my flight to Orlando for Spring Break a few weeks ago I happened to open up one of the in-flight magazines and there was an article about a guy spreading awareness for ALS. That pretty much ruined my trip because I feel like someone is trying to tell me that I have this disease. In addition, I always hear references in the media to Lou Gehrig or happened to hear my friends talking about him and my anxiety gets even worse. Lastly, tonight my friends and I were talking about what to name our team for the end of the semester kickball tournament and somehow Lou Gehrig yet again got brought up. That really pretty much just killed my day.
I also see references to Steven Hawking all the time as well, whether I'm browsing through Netflix, my ***** timeline, or even hearing friends talk about him, his damn name always pops up and it absolutely kills me because I think someone or a higher power is trying to tell me I have this disease. In addition, I also hear references to Montel williams, as well as last week one of my professors told me a story about one of his friends who died of MS seemingly out of the blue.
Has anyone else had similar experiences and turned out to be absolutely fine? And does this sound like anxiety? Like why would I keep seeing references to people with these terrible diseases pretty much everyday if someone wasn't trying to tell me I have it? I had a similar experience back in high school when I thought I had gotten a girl pregnant and I worried about it pretty much every day and I would see commercials about Teen Mom or pregnancy tests and I would flip out and my day would be ruined.
I'm only twenty-two years old and I can't imagine having this disease at such a young age, I thought it was rare. All this worrying started after I began having random muscle twitches all over my body after I began standing on my feet in one spot all day as a cashier. I'm wondering if this could be caused by a pinched nerve in my back because sometimes when I yawn my shoulder and arm muscles will twitch and then stop as soon as I stop yawning. Also, I sometimes have low back pain, which again, could be a pinched nerve. But anyways, I also have creepy crawling like sensations on my body, mostly my legs, but also my arms but only when clothing is rubbing up against it. In addition, I feel as if my skin is easy to leave impressions in, and I don't know why but I'm afraid that is also indicative of ALS or MS. If I'm standing or moving around there aren't any twitches or sensations, it's only when I try to sit down or lay down. Has anyone else experienced this? I apologize for the ridiculously long post but I am so thankful and appreciative of the responses I receive. Thanks again guys.