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Author Topic: So afraid of losing my mom.  (Read 186 times)

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Offline KardashFan

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So afraid of losing my mom.
« on: April 06, 2014, 03:42:42 PM »
Hello everyone,

I'm 29 years old and I suffer from anxiety. In 2003 I had a blood clot in my lung and that is really what brought all of my anxiety on. On April 13, 2007 my Grandma (mom's mom) died of pancreatic cancer. This month it will mark 7 years since she has been gone. In April of 2012 we went through the very sudden loss of my father. My sister was 6 months pregnant with my nephew who is now almost 2 years old. Recently my Grandpa (my moms dad) fell in the bathroom. He was taken to the hospital and sent out to another hospital where they found he had swallowed his nitro bottle.  He had to have surgery on his colon to get it removed. Since then other problems arose and he is not on a vent with a trache. He is alert and knows who we are. My mom is 53 years old and recently had the routine colonscopy that you are supposed to get after you turn 50. All was good there but the doctor noticed her sed rate from last year being 67. She was having trouble with her knee replacment and so they thought it was just from fluid build up on her knee. He re-ran  the sed rate and it was 57, My mom is a medical technologist she works in the hospital that these tests are run at. Since the sed rate was 57 she took it upon herself to have her co-worker run an RA Factor test which came back positive. She got in touch with her regular doctor who had more blood work ordered. Her ANA was positive as well and she has a CRP level that is also high. They think she might have rheumoatoid arthritis. My anxiety has just been through the roof. I don't want to lose my mom too.  I'm scared she has something else going on. She has to see a rheumotologist and she has an appointment with her family doctor this coming Tuesday. I am new this forum and joined for support as I see many others suffer from anxiety too. <3  I am sorry this is so long but i had to get it out. Thank you for listening.

-Mar-
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2014, 06:07:37 AM »
I think this would be a common worry with most of us here on this forum. My own mother is 75. I know people can't live forever. So you do tend to worry that little more if you feel they are any way sick. But with yourself you have lost two other family members. That can be very hard. It can get the mind thinking. What if this happens. What is that happens. The fact that your mother is having the tests done is a good thing. She is in safe hands. It is normal to be worried. We all love our mothers. Life without them just wouldn't be the same. You are simply a caring person who is just worried. Not sure if you have ever talked to your mother about your fears? My mother is forever talking about getting older and telling me what I should do if anything ever happened to her. Not what I want to hear. But I let her talk. Think it is better to do so. But anxiety sufferers would worry that little bit more. Have a chat with your mother. See how she feels about everything. I would guess it is the other deaths mixed in with what is going on right now. Making your mind think as it is doing so.
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Offline KardashFan

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2014, 10:57:31 AM »
Thank you so much for you reply. Yes the other deaths mixed in plus everything going on with my Grandfather. I have talked to my mom about my fears. She is going to come with me to my counselor appointment today. I should probably add on here I have ADD and a little bit of OCD mixed in with it, I'm doing OK today. I only cried once and that was after I woke up this morning and had some anxiety. Now that I got my medicine in me that I have to take in the morning (also take it at night) I am feeling better and not as anxious.
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Offline Rob783

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2014, 12:07:47 PM »
I had a PE around the same time you did around 2003ish.  A lot of my anxiety is health related since the blood clot almost killed me.  Every time I get a cramp or leg discomfort I fear its a clot passing.  I'm sure your mom will be fine.  Worrying about a love possibly passing is common on here, their our support group.
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Offline KardashFan

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2014, 10:33:44 PM »
Thank you. Yeah I am really worried about her that she has some other like autoimmune thing going on or something. I've been getting anxiety attacks terrible. I saw my counselor today an talked to her about everything and my mom came with me towards the end. Anxiety is just horrible. I hate having it.
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Offline KardashFan

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2014, 03:26:05 PM »
Well she is in her appointment now. I'm just waiting to hear from her. I'm getting anxious waiting but not to bad.
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Offline KardashFan

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2014, 03:35:03 PM »
Just heard back from my mom. She said the doctor says its definitely not cancer. She thinks its auto immune arthritis probably RA. Doctor said there are many medications available to stop it from getting worse and that my mom will probably feel better than she has in a long time. On May 5th she has to go to rheumatologist. My sister and I are going to go with her to the appointment.
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Offline Rob783

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Re: So afraid of losing my mom.
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2014, 03:52:52 PM »
Winston Churchill had a great quote, “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”


We spend most of our lives worrying about things that never come.  I'm glad you mom is ok  :happy0151:
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