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Author Topic: My HA is terrible this morning.  (Read 93 times)

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Offline Jordan80

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My HA is terrible this morning.
« on: April 03, 2014, 05:38:00 AM »
Ok, so I posted on here bot long ago about my irrational HIV fear, After 2 negative tests, I was happy, and believed I didn't have it... Until 3 weeks after I vistited THT (Terrence Higgins trust) centre, I developed a sore throat on the one side, Which was unbearable to swallow, that lasted for 4-5 days which then I noticed a gland on my left side which was swollen and has taken weeks to go down all little bit.. I've been to the doctors countless times and they all tell me I'm wasting there time. I have this irrational fear that the guy testing me at tht gave me hiv when he was testing me... He didn't look like a nurse or doctor, he was just in normal tracksuit clothes. Which struck me as odd, he was nice though and I didn't notice anything conspicuous. He was wearing gloves. He used a pin prick thing which was retracted and could only be used once to draw blood. I'm just thinking because he took it from my left hand, then 3 weeks later I develop a sore throat just on my left side. Then one swollen gland just on my left side. It is absolutely terrifying me, even though I know how crazy it sounds.. do you think I should give into my fear and test again? The first two times were unbearable, the first was with my gp and I had to wait 5 days for results. Second test was a rapid test at a Terrence Higgins trust. My HA is really getting out of hand, I phoned up THT direct this morning because I was that anxious I needed to speak to someone, he assured me what I was thinking was irrational, and there would be now possible way for transmission in that way.  This morning has been pretty bad for me, when I woke up I was heaving just at the thought of going through that again, just like the first time I thought I had it.... I really don't want to start medication for my anxiety :(
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Offline Jordan80

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Re: My HA is terrible this morning.
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2014, 05:43:23 AM »
I forgot to add, My partner also had a sore throat on one side just before me, but we haven't had sex since before my very first scare of hiv..
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: My HA is terrible this morning.
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2014, 05:48:35 AM »
We have been over this before. It was myself who answered you before too. Remember those odds we spoke about? The way a certain chain of events would have to have happened for you to have even come in contact with any blood from this other person. At the time you seemed to have accepted my answer. It seemed to make sense to you. Now you are second guessing the whole thing. I seriously don't think there is anything that anybody can say to you on here that would make you change your mind. No matter what is written up here you will still have the same thoughts. Go have another test. It will come back negative. But will you accept that and be done with it? I am guessing not. I think you will still find something in your mind by way of questioning the results. This is what is annoying your doctors. I can well understand how they feel. You have this thought and you will always have that thought. No matter what tests are done. No matter who says what to you. There is only the same answer to the same question. My answer remains the exact same as the last time.
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Offline MadyMa

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Re: My HA is terrible this morning.
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2014, 07:11:51 AM »
I suffer (suffered) with severe anxiety about ALS.  I started taking Celexa about 3 weeks ago for my anxiety.  It was the best thing I ever did.  I feel like my old self again and I really think the medicine keeps me from dwelling on the disease.  I still have my symptoms (numbness, etc.) but I am not out of my mind with worry.  If you had diabetes or something you wouldn't hesitate to take the medication so why hesitate to help yourself with anxiety medication?  It's your choice, but it really can help you. 
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