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Author Topic: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases  (Read 479 times)

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Online Rasalhauge

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So, I´ve been dealing with GAD for quite a few years now. GAD by it self have been quite an ordeal, but to make matters worse I´ve also been diagnosed with OCD and severe depression (and hemisensory functional symptoms). I´ve managed to handel it for all these years, but as of late I just can´t. I can´t find any meaning in this constant fight against my body and my mind, and for the first time ever I actually feel like giving up. I think that the main culprit in this actually is my OCD, because (fun as it may be) it seems to never ever let me feel normal. Every day means a new problem, and it really takes its toll on me.

For the last year or so I´ve been 100% sure that I have Parkinsons disease, and therefore I spend my every day doing the following; (a) checking for new, or old, symptoms and (b) Googling those symptoms (just to make sure that I actually have PD). I know that GAD in particular, and especially regards to my combinations, can cause all sorts of "funny" symptoms.

My symptoms are (not in alphabetical order though):

* Severe muscle tensions more or less in the whole body (but my left side seems to be affected the most). My fingers on the left hand is really stiff, and my toes (almost everyone of them) are close to rigid.
* Severe muscle soreness
* Tremors (both visible and a feeling of internal tremor), again mostly left (hand) side affected
* Fatigue (Horrendous)
* Weakness of left arm (intermittent, and seems to correlate with actual anxiety attacks)
* Clumsiness (mostly left hand, but have a feeling of general clumsiness)
* IBS
* Cramps (mostly in feet and calves, but also in hands when writing etc)
* Problems with armswing - Sometimes both arms swing perfectly fine, some time just one, and sometime none of them. I guess it could be correlated to my muscle tension and so, given that it´s intermittent.
* Can´t seem to relax at all - neither body nor mind

Overall I fell like I´m close to a 100 years old, while I´ve just recently reached 27. Is there anyone on here that can relate to this? Could anxiety realy cause all of these symptoms?
I am currently on Lyrica (Pregabalin) 450mg/day and Mirtazapine 15mg/day. I am somewhat overwieight (55-60lbs) and my exercise routine is non-existent (literally). I have bad eating habbits and even worse sleeping habbits (very irregular sleep overall).

Please help, this is ruining both me and my family.


P.s. sorry for my overwhelmingly bad English, I´m a Swede=)
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

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Online Cuchculan

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2014, 05:17:42 AM »
There are a few symptoms you mentioned that most people would never even know they had. My thinking is that you are over checking things. You mention your arms swinging. Classic example. How on earth did you ever find out this was a problem for you? It is not exactly something people go around doing all day long. This is were I am thinking you just might be looking for things wrong with you. Doing a check up on every part of your body. Which is most probably your OCD. Only certain people would do things like this. You are not the only one. I have asked other members before how they found out they had certain issues. Things that the average person would never know about. It is like they begin at their head and work down to their toes. Expecting to find something wrong. If we expect to find something wrong we always will find it. You say yourself that you can't seem to relax. I am not surprised to hear this at all. You are finding things to worry about. Hand cramp when writing. Very common. Not just for anxiety sufferers. You average person would get this if they write a lot. Muscle soreness is very common. You are tense all the time. Like a cat that sees a dog. You ever see the way the hairs stand up and it goes up on all four paws. That is you with your anxiety. It can be draining too. You simply need to learn how to relax. Understand that you are allowed to relax. Stop looking things up on the net. Unless it is something positive. Visit you tube. Look for breathing exercises and relaxation videos. Learn how to use them. Find something for yourself to do. A hobby of some sort. So you can take your mind off of yourself. It is all about learning. Therapy might be a good thing for you. Might help you to learn a few things.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Online Rasalhauge

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2014, 07:56:32 AM »
There are a few symptoms you mentioned that most people would never even know they had. My thinking is that you are over checking things. You mention your arms swinging. Classic example. How on earth did you ever find out this was a problem for you? It is not exactly something people go around doing all day long. This is were I am thinking you just might be looking for things wrong with you. Doing a check up on every part of your body. Which is most probably your OCD. Only certain people would do things like this. You are not the only one. I have asked other members before how they found out they had certain issues. Things that the average person would never know about. It is like they begin at their head and work down to their toes. Expecting to find something wrong. If we expect to find something wrong we always will find it. You say yourself that you can't seem to relax. I am not surprised to hear this at all. You are finding things to worry about. Hand cramp when writing. Very common. Not just for anxiety sufferers. You average person would get this if they write a lot. Muscle soreness is very common. You are tense all the time. Like a cat that sees a dog. You ever see the way the hairs stand up and it goes up on all four paws. That is you with your anxiety. It can be draining too. You simply need to learn how to relax. Understand that you are allowed to relax. Stop looking things up on the net. Unless it is something positive. Visit you tube. Look for breathing exercises and relaxation videos. Learn how to use them. Find something for yourself to do. A hobby of some sort. So you can take your mind off of yourself. It is all about learning. Therapy might be a good thing for you. Might help you to learn a few things.

First and foremost, thank you so much for responding. You are absolutelly right, I do tend to overanalyze things to extremes. My OCD and GAD have put me in a constant state of some weird hypersensation (I sense everything that is going on, all the time). But Even though I´m on anti-anxiety medicines I can´t seem to pull myself out of this state. I´m going to follow your advice and look up some breathing exercies, perhaps they can help in all alleviating some tension. I´ve also been thinking to start with physical therapy, hopefully that can help with my tensions and all that.

The thing that bugs me though, is that most symptoms seem to affect only my left side (hand in particular). I think I automatically connect that to neurodegenerative diseases.

Can tremor due to anxiety affect only one hand, or are both hands always affected?

I think that my history of hemisensory symptoms might have something to do with that though, or the fact that I focus on that specific side all the time (literally 24/7). Can a constant focus on my left side produce both tensions and tremors unilaterally? Am I literally making myself ill by thinking that I have a neuro disease?

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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2014, 09:36:19 AM »
Did any doctor ever tell you that you had any kind or Neuro Disease at all? If they didn't and you have had tests done the mind can make believe there is something wrong all by itself. Once you really believe it, it can sink in and then you can even begin to get symptoms that would mimic what you believe you have. That is the power of the mind for you. So if no doctor ever said you had anything, it is all your own doing. The mind can over react. Feed the mind misinformation. Bump. You experience your symptoms.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline Melissa509

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2014, 07:42:31 PM »
Our bodies can do some crazy things when it comes to anxiety/panic. Google Anxiety centre symptoms. They have a huge list of symptoms brought on by anxiety.

I actually have a neuro disease, been living with MS for 10 years now, was diagnosed at 25. There will always be something those of us with GAD will be anxious about. Like I am with Cancer. It scares me to death!!
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Online Rasalhauge

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2014, 07:29:30 PM »
Did any doctor ever tell you that you had any kind or Neuro Disease at all? If they didn't and you have had tests done the mind can make believe there is something wrong all by itself. Once you really believe it, it can sink in and then you can even begin to get symptoms that would mimic what you believe you have. That is the power of the mind for you. So if no doctor ever said you had anything, it is all your own doing. The mind can over react. Feed the mind misinformation. Bump. You experience your symptoms.

I actually underwent a rather thoúrough neuro exam two years ago (everything from simple tests to MRI and LP) because a doctor suspected MS. All tests came back clean though, so doctors just renamned it to hemisensory functional symptoms caused by severe GAD/OCD/Depression. But this can´t just be anxiety. I noticed now that the tremors in my hand seems to have migrated to my left leg/foot too. If I look at videos of PD-tremor my tremor looks just like that, a kind of shakiness in the left side that isn´t as noticeable in the right side. It literally feels like all my anxiety is focused on my left side, like as if it were actually puilsating in my left side. A sense of restlessness and agitation. If anxiety was the culprit behind it, wouldn´t both sides be affected?

How do I get over this? I am constantly checking my body to see if I have symptoms of neurodiseases (Parkinsons seems to have my OCD´s attention as of the last years), and everytime I check there is a new symptom that even more so fits the Parkinsons profile. How can that be?

Please help me with this, I don´t know how much more I can take=/
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2014, 08:21:52 PM »
Our bodies can do some crazy things when it comes to anxiety/panic. Google Anxiety centre symptoms. They have a huge list of symptoms brought on by anxiety.

I actually have a neuro disease, been living with MS for 10 years now, was diagnosed at 25. There will always be something those of us with GAD will be anxious about. Like I am with Cancer. It scares me to death!!

I´m sorry to hear that you actually have a neuro disease, and sorry that you too are a sufferer of GAD. Cancer should logically be something that scares me, cause just a year ago I lost my father to an agressive form of Plasme cell leukemia. Two years before that I lost my best friend a rare form of liver cancer. Even though she was just 24 she managed to contract a form of cancer almost exclusivelly seen in older men. I´ve lost several family members, and several friends, to this grueling form of diseases yet I seem to be most afraid of something that is actually survivable. Strange how the mind works=/
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

- Dante Alighieri

Offline Adam718

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2014, 07:36:14 AM »
Im sorry to hear how you're feeling. I see that you mentioned that you don't exercise at all, and have bad eating and sleeping habits. Each of those is related to the others, and can make your body not function the way it was meant to. We, as human beings are MEANT to be physically active, get the right nutrition, and sleep. That means if you are doing one of those things wrong, your body is going to be out of whack, and you're doing all of those things wrong. I'm not blaming you or anything, I'm just bringing it to your attention.

If you don't eat right, your body wont function the right way, you'll feel lethargic, and you won't want to exercise.

If you don't exercise, your body is going to feel restless, you aren't promoting healthy blood flow to ensure proper bodily functioning, and your endorphins (feel good hormones that have positive effects on your CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM) virtually never get released. And how do you expect to sleep well if your body isn't getting this?

What I'm trying to say is that you should simply TRY to live the way human beings are supposed to live and see if the pieces are put back together. Best of luck to you!
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I'm not a doctor.

Offline NinjaKitty

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2014, 07:57:30 AM »
Hi there and thanks for the post.

I suffer from a neurological condition, a very rare one, i will not go into details because you will undoubtedly fixate on it........... I can say with hand on heart that every single symptom you listed is related to anxiety/panic disorder, If you had a full neuro work up done MRI MRA etc etc and your neurologist found nothing then its almost 100% positive that your symptoms are all anxiety related, weakness in limbs, clumsyness, tremors internal and external, feelilng very very sleepy, IBS and cramps are all major anxiety symptoms, the pain or cramps your feeling could be due to tension ( we tense like helll when anxious and dont even notice were doing it because were more focused on something else)

Also not to sound like a right nasty person but bad eating habits, being sedentary( not exercising or even just not going for a walk) Fuels your anxiety, because your being sedentary you wont sleep because your body isn't getting the mobility it needs to induce sleep, also a minimal side effect of mirtazapine is pain in your joints or muscles epecially your legs and feet and weight gain is a side effect of mirtazapine aat low doses (it isnt a problem at high doses) I was on 15 mg of mirtazapine ages ago im now on 45mg and less tired and have lost weight....... so it could be your meds are the issue and nothing ot do with your brain whatsoever........... talk to your dr about your issues, maybe get referred to a dietician and possibly try exercising a few days a week.

Good Luck and dont let it slip by see your dr and get peace of mind

Kitty xx :action-smiley-065:
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Currently surfing the anxiety waves!!
Current Meds
5mg diazepam 3xdaily
45mg mirtazapine at night
10mg Nitrazepam nightly
sumatriptan (doses vary)
Naproxen 300mg 3 x daily
Buscopan 20mg 4x daily
Lanzoprozol 30mg daily
Trazadone (dose varies)

Offline NinjaKitty

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Re: My anxiety is killing me (literally) - Fear of Neuro diseases
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2014, 08:02:46 AM »
Also the weakness, cramping tremors can affect either ide of the body or the whole of your body, but because you fixate on one thing it can become magnified because your worrying about it........hence why you fixate on the left side........maybe try fixating on the right and you will feel it there too then you may balance out and realise it is completely normal.............anxiety manifests as a million different symptoms and mimics diseases but you are actually physicall ok its just your head and you anxiety mimicking what you fear....... it's scientifically proven that the more you fixate on something the worse it gets....

Good luck stay well and try being positive and get the psychological help you need

Kitty xx
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Currently surfing the anxiety waves!!
Current Meds
5mg diazepam 3xdaily
45mg mirtazapine at night
10mg Nitrazepam nightly
sumatriptan (doses vary)
Naproxen 300mg 3 x daily
Buscopan 20mg 4x daily
Lanzoprozol 30mg daily
Trazadone (dose varies)

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