So for people who are having a tough time I want to share progress and a little of my story.
September 1st 2012 I had my first panic attack after trying weed for the first time. Let's just say that it was hell after that, absolutely no sleep for weeks, broken sleep for months, agoraphobia ( couldn't even get out of bed) , constant panic attacks, pain everywhere mostly my head, and being afraid of a lot. I have no idea if medicine helped me truly, but I did take it and things got better over time, but I think the biggest cure for me was to learn to not think about the bad ***** so much ( impossible right?) well, you will get bored of it I assure you and start thinking about other stuff. You might start taking a medicine and your anxiety gives you bullshit symptoms that makes you think it's bad and won't help, maybe switch a few times, then who knows. I took two different anti depressants before finding one for me, and 2 benzodiazepines before stopping on klonopin, but I weened myself off both because I just didn't want to depend on medicine and I felt like I could fight this without the meds. Withdrawals from the benzo sucked ass, and I had tons more panic attacks, but they were never as bad as before. I went from never leaving my apartment and thinking I never would to doing everything again... I'm working 50+ hours a week and about to go back to school. My confidence is back to the normal shyness that I once had. At times I still feel spaced out, but I just brush it off like its nothing because I again have normal ***** to worry about like bills and my career :) if you read my old post, I was really messed up, but my brain was in a bad place, but it just needed to heal. Seems like you have to just suffer until you're bored enough to just relax that way your brain can heal. I think the worst thing of it all was the no sleep and now I can't even really force myself to stay up lol.
A tip for when my anxiety and adrenalin was kicking my ass and I couldn't sleep was to think about good times or just really anything you used to do for as long as you can and just focus on this. And if you start to doze and jolt awake, then just brush it off as shitty as you feel and keep trying because getting up and worrying never helps anything. Then again everyone is different so good luck my old friends!
I can't believe how happy am to say I'm glad to be back at the old grind called normal living...
Sorry for everyone going through what I went through, but hey, I lost 70 pounds from it ;) so just look on the bright side and learn to just brush off the panic and pain like it doesn't bother you. Don't pretend like it doesn't, literally you have to NOT care about them anymore. Don't let it it consume your life.