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Offline leah2013

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Breaking down
« on: April 01, 2014, 01:14:58 PM »
Hello, thanks for your support. I AM a 37 year old female with HA.

This past year has been really bad for me. It's one health issue after another. I am sick and tired of going to doctors and I think I need to take meds at this point.

-I had breast pain and thought breast cancer - for mammogram and u/s all clear. The pain went away
-then I started with colon pain and reflux - got endoscopy and found gastritis took meds and went away but it still comes and goes.
-Had a abdominal and pelvic CT scan all clear
-then got horrible headaches and shoulder pain daily for months - I thought brain tumor got MRI all clear. I still have headaches on and off
-then by bladder started bothering, I am prone to UTs. I had frequency - got a cytospocy with hydro done that revealed mild IC (Intertestial cystitis). There is no cure for that I am on a strict diet
-Then I was so tired and I was afraid of lupus because a friend has it. went to the doctor got blood work and my ferritin is low at 3. I started taking iron
Then last month my period lasted for 16 days - they send me for pelvic u/s all clear and hormones profile all good. But now my WCB was 3.22 today, minimum is 3.6. Last month was 6.... doctor was not concerned at all, but now I am thinking the worst.
- Gastro doctor wants to do a colonoscopy next week due to my low ferritin.
- I have tingling sensations all over my body and feelings of panic.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS ANXIETY ANYMORE.... I DON'T HAVE A LIFE ALL I DO ALL DAY IS WORRY ABOUT MY HEALTH INSTEAD OF ENJOYING MY LIFE AND MY KIDS. GOD HELP ME..... I AM BREAKING DOWN.... I ALWAYS THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, CAN
T TAKE THIS ANYMORE..... SHOULD I TAKE ANTIDEPRESSANTS?
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline rileybug

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2014, 01:30:28 PM »
I feel the same way-weird symptons and every test done.  Lost 2 friends(age 49 and 50) recently to heart attacks-so i'm going to a cardio for tests.  Getting the results back today.  Also have trouble breathing and stomach problems.  Have had ha for 3 years and its scareing the crap out of me.  I.m scared to take meds because side effects and addiction issues.  At least i'm not alone-just older onset than most(age 65)
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Offline Air Nomad

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2014, 01:38:57 PM »
Oh my goodness, this post could have been written about me.  I SOOO feel for you and what you're going through.  The past year has been hell for me with my HA.  I've thought I had MS, Lupus, brain tumor, uterine/ovarian cancer, and God knows what else that I'm forgetting.  I've had about every blood test known to man and a couple scans and pelvic u/s and everything has come back fine.  My doctor told me that white counts often fluctuate and are not at all a concern unless it's been consistently low, like REALLY low.  Last time yours was a 6 which is great.  Testing once at a 3 isn't concerning to doctors because more than likely the next time it will have gone back up.  I also read that anxiety can cause reduced WBC.  As for the low ferritin, could you be anemic (with the 16 day period)?
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Sokka: "Do you want me to be like you or be totally honest?"
Katara: "Are you saying I'm a liar?"
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-Avatar: the Last Airbender
(This is me and my husband to a tee)

Offline leah2013

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2014, 02:12:35 PM »
Oh my goodness, this post could have been written about me.  I SOOO feel for you and what you're going through.  The past year has been hell for me with my HA.  I've thought I had MS, Lupus, brain tumor, uterine/ovarian cancer, and God knows what else that I'm forgetting.  I've had about every blood test known to man and a couple scans and pelvic u/s and everything has come back fine.  My doctor told me that white counts often fluctuate and are not at all a concern unless it's been consistently low, like REALLY low.  Last time yours was a 6 which is great.  Testing once at a 3 isn't concerning to doctors because more than likely the next time it will have gone back up.  I also read that anxiety can cause reduced WBC.  As for the low ferritin, could you be anemic (with the 16 day period)?

My ferritin is low 3, which should be 15 to 150 but my hemoglobin is still normal, in the low end though so almost anemic. I tend to have low ferritin. I am on iron pills for 3 months and they will retest but the doctor told me this morning it can take many months to build the ferritin levels. He said my 16 days period (it was light and mostly spotting) could be due to the stress I went before my cytoscopy as all my other tests were normal. I jus read the stress can cause low WBC or a virus infection.... I need to enjoy my life. I wasting it and I know I am.

I am just so dawn tired and depressed to do anything..... I need to start doing something exercise, yoga, meditation, something. I need to help myself because this is no way of living.
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline greend

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2014, 02:37:12 PM »
Leah I feel just like you. I feel mortified all the time and I have a nervous knot in my stomach. I agree this is no way to live. It scares me that I have symptoms that doctors can't identify. I feel very alone. I feel as though I have put my life on hold for the last 3 years. Even when I am doing something fun, I don't totally enjoy it.

I just wish my symptoms would go away, and I could have my old life back.

So Leah I can totally relate to you.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? Reading self-help books have been helpful for me in the past.

Feel well. :spineyes:
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Offline Air Nomad

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2014, 02:41:40 PM »
I agree, you should try to do something like exercise or yoga, even when you don't feel like it.  Especially when you don't feel like it.  I started to get better in the fall when I finally just got sick of worrying and wanted to enjoy my favorite season.  I kept myself busy constantly and my mind preoccupied with fun stuff or projects for the house, etc.  It helped tremendously.  Exercise will definitely help too.
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Sokka: "Do you want me to be like you or be totally honest?"
Katara: "Are you saying I'm a liar?"
Sokka: "No, I'm saying you're an optimist. Same thing really."
-Avatar: the Last Airbender
(This is me and my husband to a tee)

Offline Tnfarmgirl

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2014, 02:44:17 PM »
Hi leah, I am Lee...50 year old grandma...I have been where you are, heck, I still am. I know the fear that takes over.  But I also know that I have  NEVER been right about anything I thought I had..NEVER...I think medication can help, it helped me when I was convinced I had ALS..find a good therapist...talk to them ..
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Offline leah2013

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2014, 03:45:08 PM »
Thank you ladies you have no idea how much you have helped me today just but being so kind and replying to my posts!!!
I think I need a therapist. It's hard though to find time off from the kids or work. But I need to do something about it

I took ADs before but they always give me side effects and then I freak out about it and think that I am dying of something new..... ***sigh***

greend, what self-help books have helped you in the past?
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline greend

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2014, 04:02:29 PM »
Leah, there are a couple of books by and Dr. Sarno, and I find them quite helpful. I find they give you a little bit of peace but they aren't the total answer. You have to take some of what he says with a grain of salt. Authors such as Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra can be helpful as well. I keep looking for new books, so if anyone else has any suggestions, I would live to hear about them.
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Offline uno76

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2014, 04:47:31 PM »
I can relate somewhat. The past yr for me has been such nightmare. It started with anxiety creeping up and months down the road it got bad. Since Oct.I've had issue after issue,but for three yrs prior I was great. I've been to doctor for this and that and it has been so hard dealing with all this. I've had joint pain,leg aches,heart worries,you name it. I'm just so worn out.
Now nothing has been found,all tests clear but now my heart is doing weird stuff. It's like when will it stop?
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Offline greend

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2014, 05:36:01 PM »
Uno, I totally relate to you.  I have neurological symptoms that have driven me crazy for a long time.  After a lot of testing, no cause could be found.  So, of course, I started googling and have found something that the neurologists didn't test for.  I will be going to see another neurologist soon to have this issue looked into.  I am losing my mind over this.  When will it stop????
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Offline kristinsanxiety

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2014, 05:52:18 PM »
I am sorry you're one of us sufferers. Sounds all too familiar, I'm emotionally exhausted. My anxiety was fine for around a year and then in fall of 2013 it hit my full force and it has not let up, one fear after another. Tired of it
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Offline anxiousamaryllis

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #12 on: April 01, 2014, 06:29:47 PM »
Hi there,

I can totally relate to this. My Health Anxiety is completely out of control again at the moment and it's all I worry about from morning to night. Currently my main worries are stomach cancer and MS.

My question is, how are you able to have these invasive tests? This is my big problem. I can't rule out serious disease because I'm too scared to have any invasive tests. As well as Health Anxiety I have really bad Generalized Anxiety and it's worn me to a frazzle to the point where any additional stress just about sends me over the edge. I find hospitals very stressful so I don't even like going for routine appointments and blood tests (although I do) let alone invasive tests. So far I've had countless blood tests and a couple of ultrasounds, but I cannot handle the thought of an endoscopy or colonoscopy or even an abdominal CT scan because it involves drinking some horrible liquid and since I already feel nauseated and have stomach pain most of the time I just don't think it would be possible for me to drink that stuff without throwing up. Similarly with the endoscopy, how were you able to have that procedure? Even the thought of it makes me feel panicky?

I should say that my doctor is not urging me to have these tests since she thinks I have some form of stress/anxiety related Irritable Bowel Syndrome. But I feel I should have these tests to rule out stomach cancer.

I also worry hugely about Multiple Sclerosis because I do have some neurological symptoms. My doctor did refer me for an MRI of my brain, but I couldn't go through with it. Even though it was a supposedly "open" MRI, I still found it way too claustrophobic and I couldn't do it.

So I'm really in a bind because I worry about these diseases but I'm too scared to have the tests to rule them out.

I do already take an anti-depressant, but it just isn't cutting it. I guess I could take some heavy duty sedatives, but even just thinking about these types of tests makes me freak out, and that in turn makes my physical symptoms worse.

So I was just curious whether having the actual tests was a problem for you? Or whether anyone else, like me, really struggles with the thought of invasive tests?

Thanks for listening!

PS: Just a little basic info about me, I am a 50 year old female. As I age, my Health Anxiety is getting MUCH MUCH worse, presumably because I am getting closer to death and losing people close to me so reminders of mortality are all around :-(
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Offline anxiousamaryllis

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2014, 06:33:33 PM »
Hi there,

I can totally relate to this. My Health Anxiety is completely out of control again at the moment and it's all I worry about from morning to night. Currently my main worries are stomach cancer and MS.

My question is, how are you able to have these invasive tests? This is my big problem. I can't rule out serious disease because I'm too scared to have any invasive tests. As well as Health Anxiety I have really bad Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorder, and it's worn me to a frazzle to the point where any additional stress just about sends me over the edge. I find hospitals very stressful so I don't even like going for routine appointments and blood tests (although I do) let alone invasive tests. So far I've had countless blood tests and a couple of ultrasounds, but I cannot handle the thought of an endoscopy or colonoscopy or even an abdominal CT scan because it involves drinking some horrible liquid and since I already feel nauseated and have stomach pain most of the time I just don't think it would be possible for me to drink that stuff without throwing up. Similarly with the endoscopy, how were you able to have that procedure? Even the thought of it makes me feel panicky?

I should say that my doctor is not urging me to have these tests since she thinks I have some form of stress/anxiety related Irritable Bowel Syndrome. But I feel I should have these tests to rule out stomach cancer.

I also worry hugely about Multiple Sclerosis because I do have some neurological symptoms. My doctor did refer me for an MRI of my brain, but I couldn't go through with it. Even though it was a supposedly "open" MRI, I still found it way too claustrophobic and I couldn't do it.

So I'm really in a bind because I worry about these diseases but I'm too scared to have the tests to rule them out.

I do already take an anti-depressant, but it just isn't cutting it. I guess I could take some heavy duty sedatives, but even just thinking about these types of tests makes me freak out, and that in turn makes my physical symptoms worse.

So I was just curious whether having the actual tests was a problem for you? Or whether anyone else, like me, really struggles with the thought of invasive tests? And has a general fear of hospitals.

Thanks for listening!

PS: Just a little basic info about me, I am a 50 year old female. As I age, my Health Anxiety is getting MUCH MUCH worse, presumably because I am getting closer to death and losing people close to me so reminders of mortality are all around :-(
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Offline uno76

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Re: Breaking down
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2014, 04:49:02 PM »
Greend, I totally agree. When will it stop?? I know one thing-this cycle is crazy. I'm not enjoying  the pain,symptoms,and frequent doctor visits. I hope you get better soon also. I'm feeling weird chesg sensations and my leg pain is like so much better. How did another issue arise? It's like these symptoms are waiting in line.

Uno, I totally relate to you.  I have neurological symptoms that have driven me crazy for a long time.  After a lot of testing, no cause could be found.  So, of course, I started googling and have found something that the neurologists didn't test for.  I will be going to see another neurologist soon to have this issue looked into.  I am losing my mind over this.  When will it stop????
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