Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Anxiety Zone Wire    Games   Social Groups   AZ Member Blogs   Health News  Bored?

Author Topic: My Journey with Clinical Depression  (Read 362 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline dannysmiles19

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 119
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
My Journey with Clinical Depression
« on: March 25, 2014, 08:53:01 PM »
I want to thank every person that has replied to my numerous posts since a year ago when I joined this site. I joined because of obvious reasons, mental health issues.

I know I'm not crazy...I know I'm a human being with feeling and emotion...individuality and expression... a past full of memories...and a life ahead of me. Clinical Depression is so hard to explain... the best way I can describe it as is a pervasive condition of the mind, brain, body, spirit... it's consequential and if it weren't for the use of medication I would be struggling for my life to function...

I still don't know why it has been a part of my life... my doctor said it's chromosomal and medication treats the genetic condition. If I had a choice... I don't know know if I would choose to live without depression... it has been so ingrained inside of me that I have an identity associated with depression...I wish I had it treated since its inception...

 I wish that I went to a mental health specialist when it was truly necessary... but I went untreated because it was something I adapted to...I have had ups and downs in my life...and I just accepted the tiredness. I accepted it all... but now....life is so hard. I have been in the hospital four times...because the depression got so severe... my social anxiety and depression together have created a very tough life...but mainly the depression... I have spoken to god...i have cried...i have wept...

This is my life.... these are the daily challenges I face... I need therapy to find my footing...I don't know what has happened to me... the years that have passed have brought further complications...life just complicates and....depression has been my main problem.... Seasonal Affective Disorder was my original thought because the seasons have caused drastic changes in how I feel... but this depression and anxiety has been chronic.

Bookmark and Share

Offline Leo99

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 439
  • Country: si
  • Rec's: 5
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Okay
    Okay
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: My Journey with Clinical Depression
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2014, 03:24:33 PM »
How have you been recently, danny? Any updates?
Bookmark and Share
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
(E. A. Poe)

Offline dannysmiles19

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 119
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: My Journey with Clinical Depression
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2014, 08:10:29 PM »
As March has come to a close and April has begun, I feel some relief. I think the seasonal affective component is lifting. April and May are the magical months for people with a seasonal pattern. I went to the doctor yesterday and he upped my Viibryd from 40 mg to 50 mg. I hope this raise will bring more relief that I am seeking. It doesn't help that the woman I had feelings for has caused me grief during the whole month of March. I blocked her and we aren't talking anymore. She doesn't deserve me to be around when she keeps saying things that are hurting me. I hope my depression really does go into remission...I hope my life lifts into the clouds... because I know depression has been a big part of my life since my mid teens.

Thanks for commenting. How have you been?
Bookmark and Share

Offline Leo99

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 439
  • Country: si
  • Rec's: 5
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Okay
    Okay
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: My Journey with Clinical Depression
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2014, 02:12:32 PM »
Actually March's been a tough month for me too and I've heard many people complain about their well-being also. Glad to read you're getting some relief.
Yes, relationships are hard sometimes. In my opinion you did the right thing by deciding you deserve better. Sometimes we have to make clean cuts in order not to get hurt even more.
Would you settle with tree tops instead of clouds  :winking0008:? Up there but still grounded...

Hope the med increase helps you further. As always, I for one believe you're on the right path.
Bookmark and Share
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
(E. A. Poe)

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
0 Replies
7030 Views
Last post April 14, 2005, 09:58:11 PM
by GreyGoose
2 Replies
1637 Views
Last post June 21, 2009, 05:10:55 PM
by riverboat
7 Replies
1682 Views
Last post June 24, 2014, 03:44:44 AM
by Kavenchols
6 Replies
1933 Views
Last post February 06, 2011, 10:26:16 AM
by commander
1 Replies
464 Views
Last post February 12, 2013, 12:55:16 PM
by bruxby
1 Replies
167 Views
Last post April 17, 2014, 09:41:11 PM
by oooyay