This is my first post here.
I have always had issues with anxiety and it has affected me in many negative ways, however it has never affected me in my work. I was lucky that I had a full-time job for a charity I loved, my manager became a best friend to me and I loved the work.
Sadly the funding for this post ran out and I got a new job with another charity. I was never given an induction, and told constantly to meet my targets and deadlines even on my first day. The job was different to what was advertised - I later found that a job description for an old job had been used because they didn't make a new one for the post I applied for. The work was too hard and the manager's were not very nice. Everyone there was stressed and unhappy. My anxiety flared up and soon I was being sick every day before work and crying when I got back from work until I had a giant "breakdown" and ended up resigning because I was scared I would harm myself.
I went to my doctor who diagnosed me with panic disorder and clinical depression, and I have just begun 50mg of sertraline but honestly I don't think it is helping at all.
Every day I wake up realising I am unemployed and panicking. But then I panic more thinking what if it happens again in my next job? What if the job is too hard, or the manager's are not nice and I end up resigning again? I am still sick most mornings and cry a lot in the day. I suppose it feels like my life is over; the dreams I had of building a good career for myself and being able to afford a car and a place of my own... I think now I have realised these things can never happen.
Can anyone advise? Has anyone been in a similar situation and what tips do you have for finding a job that is right for you where you can manage your anxiety? I don't want to be out of work forever.