Does anybody else have major contamination fears about their house? I am really struggling.
I have OCD which typically manifests in Health anxiety.
I do not have the typical wash hands issue with contamination. Although I do wash my hands more than the average joe I am sure.
Mine tends to be more about chemicals in the house that somehow will lead to hurt my family (my kids specially) down the road.
For example we moved to a gorgeous beautiful home a few months ago. At first the new carpet that the previous owners installed to sell smelled a bit. I was TERRIFIED about the slight carpet smell. I wasted a lot of time fretting about it. Eventually it subsidded although I can still smell carpet but not in a fumey kind of way. I literally can smell everything. Its horrible. Anyway after the carpet issue my next fear was insulation. I became obsessed that insulation was getting into the house through my son's room that has an attic access. The previous owners had built a desk into the attic and was not sealed properly so some air from the attic was getting in. I pretty much treated that as an exposure to asbestos although I know it is not the same. There was never loose insulation blowing in or anything like that. I just imagined particles contaminating the space. If we move something into the attic and walking out a tiny portion of insulation comes in contact with the carpet I freak out. SIGH this is my new fear. Insulation. Pink regular everybody has it insulation. This was not a fear in my old house although I did not like it I did not feel it contaminated the space.
Anyway now that renovation sheet rock etc is done and over - we painted. The painters messed up the paint and applied coats too fast and it is one week later and the no voc paint still reeks like it was freshly painted. We have used this same paint before and it did not do that at all. So we have the room open fans blowing and we had to move my sons room temporarly to the guest bedroom. So really no hard done his stuff was already packed since we had to put that wall in his room.
Anyway when I vacuum I feel that the vacumm is contaminated by insulation, drywall dust, dust in general. I worry about crazy things like if the previous owners had dropped mercury thermometers, mercury lightbulbs. Crazy things like that. Mind you there was only ONE lamp with a mercury containing lamp. Although there are several tubes.
Anyway I AM Spinning out of control and can't enjoy my new house because I live in fear that the paint will never dry. That the tiny bits of insulation that might have been tracked coming in and out of the attic might hurt the kids and conatminate the air.
I FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE mother. I know nothing of othis makes sense. My husband says the paint is an Inconvinience. I have visions of the smell never leaving, having to tear more sheetrock and exposing insulation. OMG i feel like I am going crazy.
I am NOT on medication for depression. I do take klonopin as needed. I usually don't need it but I am spinning downhill and I have been taking .5 mg a day some days. Not everyday. I feel better when my hubby is around but when he is at work I struggle so much. I get myself worked up googling about peoples paint that never dried and they had to rip out the walls. And about insulation being the new asbestos.
I have a lot of trauma in my past with my parents and a son passing and I know where all this is coming from. I just want to be NORMAL.
I did make an appointment with my therapist and at this point I might need to see my pshychiatrist although I am terrified on going in antidepressants. They scare me as I had a bad reaction to one once
I have only been on zoloft post partum for 6 months which is when my whole issue started. I tried after that one time and it made me crazy anxious it was horrible.
UGH what a novel. Anyway can anybody relate to any of this? To feeling this way?