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Author Topic: Lymphoma fear destroy my life  (Read 442 times)

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Offline Lara

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Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« on: March 21, 2014, 11:28:29 AM »
I am 23 years old i was not hypochondriac until two years ago..I first noticed painless lymph node two years ago,I didn't have any other symptom,after week or so other nodes shown up...all around my body.4 on my neck,2 above collarbone,4 underarm,and about 6 on the groin.I went to a doctor and tests have begun...I was tested for everything they could think of but non of them wanted to do biopsy...I have enlarged spleen for 8 years,and some of them think I am born like that...I did every blood test you could think of, test for viruses...Went to 6 hematologist, no one saw anything unusual.Because no one want to do the biopsy and I was very scared I did cytological punction on private clinic and result was non specific hyperplasia.Then I was good for about 6 months and then started again..Pain in left upper abdomen, itch on legs and enlarged liver...Went to hospital and tests started again..Nothing found...Again I was good for 6 months and after a month started again...I am very itchy and I am crying all the time because I am so scared...Anybody have any suggestion? ? Sorry for spelling  :traurig001:
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Offline Lara

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2014, 05:43:08 AM »
Anyone??????? B-;
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Offline hachiko

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2014, 11:01:06 AM »
You had a lot of tests done and you also saw hematologists i can understand that you are fearing the worst but if 6, 6!!! hematologists told you they don't find your lymph nodes unusual, you need to relax and believe them. The itchiness can be a symptoms of something very benign and not related to lymphoma; it can even be related to anxiety. Lymph nodes can get bigger with infections and such and when they go back down, they never go back to their original size.
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2014, 11:05:24 AM »
You need to treat your anxiety!  You've seen *SIX* experts in their field.  ALL of them have declared that you don't have lymphoma.  That is extreme behavior.

I urge you to seek treatment for you anxiety.  It's time to take control of your life!
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Offline CrazyQuacker75

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2014, 11:57:19 AM »
I agree with these above posters, also if you've had lymphoma for two years you're nodes would be the size of a golf ball by now.
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In the race against myself

Offline Lara

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2014, 05:05:29 PM »
thanks for replaying
I started a treatment for anxiety but I can't get  lymphoma out of my head I always think they are missing something,and I have not been to doctor about 6 months now...But do nodes have to enlarge more?What if it's indolent lymphoma B-; And itch is driving me crazy... I really think nobody understands me and it's really hard  :yawn:
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2014, 07:02:21 PM »
Who doesn't understand you?  The Dr's or the people here on this board.  I can guarantee you that both groups understand you.

We know all too well how the fear nags at you.  That's why we're urging you to get treatment for it.  You're in classic "the Dr's won't listen, nobody understands me, I know all the tests were wrong, I just know I'm dying and they're all wrong" mode.  BUT the Dr's are listening, we do understand you, the tests are NOT wrong, and you're NOT dying. 

YOU DO NOT HAVE LYMPHOMA.  You have anxiety.
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Offline CrazyQuacker75

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2014, 10:02:10 PM »
trust me Lara I understand you completely, I've had a lymphoma fear for about 5 months now, I have a bunch of random nodes only in my neck, some are hard and small some are squishy i just can't get a beat on these things so I'm just trying to leave them alone and check in on them every two weeks or so because I need to realize that touching them everyday will keep them around and just make me more nervous.
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In the race against myself

Offline Baldrick

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2014, 10:19:15 PM »
WOW. That's very similar to me!
I've had swollen lymph nodes for SEVEN YEARS! Started with one in my groin, then I found several in both groins and armpits biggest in my right armpit probably around 1-1.5 cm. Been to many many doctors and a haemotologist  none of them want to biopsy.
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Offline cravenmobile

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2014, 10:24:06 PM »
Lara, I am right there with you.

About 4 years ago when I was in the USAF I started to get a achy pain in my stomach that never seemed to go away. About a year later I discovered that a lymph node on my jawline was about the size of a pea, hard, and never went back to a normal state. Then I noticed about 6 months later that there was another one near my groin in about the same state. I get tenderness on my feet and sometimes night sweats (which are Mild, not drenching at all).

I am still here and I still think at times that its Lymphoma. To get back to calm I just start telling myself that I have anxiety, which makes normal things seem abnormal. I tell myself that my doctor and friend said that I could put my fears to bed. I also tell myself that even if it is lymphoma, its much more treatable than it used to be. I am still here.
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Offline Lara

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2014, 02:40:59 AM »
I know it's not normal to feel like this...I just want the answer, why is it so bad  B-; I know a lot of you understands me, that's way I'm here.Really try to tell myself it just anxiety but like I have a little devil in my head who is saying to me all the time ,,you have lymphoma,,. And when the itch starts I'm freaked out...There are just too many symptoms of lymphoma  :spineyes: :spineyes:
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Offline cravenmobile

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2014, 09:32:27 AM »
"I have a little devil in my head who is saying to me all the time ,,you have lymphoma"

Well that pretty much hits the nail right on the head.
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Offline Lara

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2014, 12:42:14 PM »
I know it might be all in my head but I have so many symptoms, that can't be in my head :traurig001:
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2014, 12:50:52 PM »
I know it might be all in my head but I have so many symptoms, that can't be in my head :traurig001:

Oh yes they can!!  Read the posts here, anxiety manifests itself in all kinds of different ways.  You *have* to treat the anxiety.
 
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Offline Lara

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Re: Lymphoma fear destroy my life
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2014, 01:10:33 PM »
I know that itch can but enlarged organs can't or can they? I am going on terapy for anxiety but I don't trust people so it is hard :spineyes:
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