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Author Topic: Anxiety about being alone  (Read 174 times)

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Offline colorlessideas

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Anxiety about being alone
« on: March 18, 2014, 03:31:31 PM »
I find myself really extra anxious when I'm home alone or doing something alone. I don't know why. I don't feel afraid of dying or passing out or something, it's just difficult to explain. Like I need another living being there for some unknown reason. Even when driving home from work, I feel like I need to call someone so I'm not alone.

The thing is, I've always been an introverted person. Until recently I enjoyed quiet time by myself. I've never been somebody who wanted to be the center of attention, and I still don't want that but it's like I need someone around.

Any thoughts?
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Offline alex_s

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2014, 04:29:37 PM »
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Any thoughts?

I'll mention the obvious thing, although I may be wrong - being in the company of someone keeps you 'in the moment', as soon as you are alone you no longer are and you identify more with your 'mind', which runs all sorts of anxiety patterns.

Another reason, which has partly the same root cause is that you have internal conflicts that start battling with each other as soon as they have time, i.e when you are alone. Here's a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world". If that's the case, bringing 'attention' to the conflict and observing it, without actually taking part of it (being the watcher and not identifying yourself with the thought process) is enough for the internal resolution of the conflict to start. I personally know some people that constantly go out and hang out with random people and are unable to spend 1 minute alone. They don't have any anxiety issues, but they probably are hiding from an internal conflict.

Or you really are afraid of passing out/etc. without even realizing it, if the anxiety is more pronounced when your cell phone is dead/you are farther away from your home that's probably it.

Do you feel better the more of a social situation you are in? If so, I'd probably prefer that to social anxiety.  :yes:
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2014, 01:09:58 AM »
I find I like companionship too.
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Offline colorlessideas

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2014, 10:24:44 AM »
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Do you feel better the more of a social situation you are in? If so, I'd probably prefer that to social anxiety.

Haha, no, I wish I could turn this into getting over social anxiety!  :laugh3: I still avoid social situations when I can.  I am just seeking company of my usual circle of friends and family as often as possible when at home or going to the store, running errands. I think you may be right about not wanting to confront internal conflict, because when I am alone I want to distract myself very quickly so it isn't  just me and those thoughts.
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Offline gigi14

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2014, 11:44:21 AM »
this is the worst I feel it all the time ..like when im on my own sometimes im ok but when im on my own outside i loose myself find myself wandering aimlisley around not knowing what to do and then the panic comes its bad at night when im alone also sucks :( i feel like i cant go anywhere without someone or be home alone and i dont want to be relying on people all time so i battle on its lonely
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Offline jocbrinick

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2014, 12:45:12 PM »
I know how you feel because im the same way. i cant even go to the gas station alone or to pick up food. I make one of my kids go with me. I even have to have one of them sit in the bathroom with me when i take a shower. i don't think im afraid of anything happening to me, i just cant be by my self.
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Offline Isabeau

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Re: Anxiety about being alone
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2014, 05:06:38 PM »
Wow I was going to start a subject like that myself! I totally understand but I really agree with evrything Alex said. I think we dont want to be left alone with our thoughts and feelings (some because they fear something will happen to them, some because they fear of losing control when noone is around etc.) because we fear them. So we want to avoid ourselves. My therapist says that worrying itself is avoidance, it allows us not to think of the truly painful thoughts. How to stop avoiding myself and be comfortable alone, I dont know how to do that just yet... But i know i used to really enjy being by myself and reading a book or just daydream and now i cant do that anymore.
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