I'm sorry to hear about your hurt feelings. Yet hearing about your boyfriend's behaviour is a huge relief to me, because me and my ex girlfriend had exactly this same problem you two are having now - its nice to know i'm not too odd, or alone!
Like Cuchculan says, anxiety sufferers tend to sleep badly... i've had sleeping problems which i've sought help for ever since i was a child. I'm lucky if i manage to grab a full night's rest. If i don't get enough sleep then i end up feeling unwell, drained, and on edge for the rest of the day. When i began a relationship with my ex, she was my first girlfriend and the first woman i'd ever shared a bed with.
Despite her being attractive i found myself anxious and uncomfortable sharing a bed with her. Don't get me wrong, i was very fond of her and i enjoyed spending time with her... but i didn't have the freedom to toss and turn as i wished, i just wasn't accustomed to the experience of sharing with another person. When i sleep i like to have alot of ***** to myself. Also, i'm not the most presentable guy in the mornings and the thought of her seeing me like that made me uneasy!
Suddenly things had to be different and i just couldn't sleep. I preferred separate sleeping arrangements. That way my sleep was always improved and our time together during the day was more enjoyable. Despite that she felt rejected and took it very personally despite my attempts to reassure her, and sometimes she would complain or verge on getting upset with me. My dislike of sharing a bed wasn't personal, and at the time i honestly wondered if something was wrong with me that i was uncomfortable sharing a bed with someone i loved... but what you say about your boyfriend's bed behaviour so to speak, and what Cuchculan says, makes so much sense to me. I also have a rigid bedtime routine that i guess is my anxiety's way of finding certainty and predictability, and being with another person at night with shared sleeping arrangements disturbs all of that.
I remember when me and my ex had to share a single bed for a few nights, and despite my best efforts i just couldn't fall sleep. In contrast she absolutely relished the prospect of having me in a small single bed where i couldn't get away. For two nights she got a wonderful sleep with a content smile on her face, finally getting to cuddle right up to me in bed, whilst i just lay there unable to move about nor toss and turn, enduring muscle cramps without a moment's sleep.
On the third night i just couldn't take the exhaustion, discomfort and anxiety anymore... i was just so uncomfortable at the lack of ***** and tired due to the lack of sleep that i bought a separate blow up mattress that i could sleep in on the floor next to the bed. She became very unhappy.
I mean, verging on tearful unhappy. Thats not the reaction i'd anticipated, as i had shoved the mattress right alongside the bed. I never understood why sharing a bed with someone just didn't suit me and my unease at doing so made her so emotionally unhappy, however what you have said here, violagirl, begins to make me realise how important it can be for some people that their partner shares the same sleeping ***** with them.
I assure you that your boyfriend loves you very much, and this isn't about you in any way, shape or form. Try not to take it too much to heart.