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Author Topic: um.. is this normal?  (Read 290 times)

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Offline Mikayla_lynn

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um.. is this normal?
« on: March 17, 2014, 09:42:25 PM »
I apologize for asking so many questions but is it supposed to be hard like where my bikini line is? I just noticed that it was and idk is it? and is it normal to have a stomach pouch? (i'm 15 93-95 lbs)
again another dumb question,sorry.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2014, 01:39:03 PM »
Hi,

There is absolutely no such thing as a dumb question and especially on this forum . . . each of us have unique personalities and issues, etc. so this is a great place to come . . .

First, though, we can't really tell you anything like a diagnosis . . . we're not, at least I am not, a med professional and I don't think reputable med professionals would diagnose without seeing you . . .

What I can ask you, though, and you don't have to answer these questions, they are more questions for you to think about  . . .

1.  Have you chatted about this with a parent or with a medical professional? They would be the ones to be able to help you with this issue.

2.  Are you maybe concerned with how you look? Did anyone pass a comment on your body or your weight? Sometimes, when that happens, we start to see issues that are not really there. If this might be the case, you still need to get a professional look see . . . a weight of 93-95 may be perfectly fine for you but again, that depends on your height and your build and your genetics . . . in other words, things only a medical professional is trained to assess . . . .

3.  Is there anything happening at school? Is everything going okay for you? If so, great; if not, have you chatted with your parents? a school counselor? a trusted adult? Sometimes when things are not going the very best for us, we worry and that sometimes gets translated into "gut problems" (me, too . . . when I am anxious, I have symptoms) . . .

So, ask all the questions you want here and chat with your parents or an other trusted adult for some guidance . . . 15 (at least when I was 15) can be a bit of a strain as you are figuring out who you are and, at times, everything can be a bit mushed up . . .

Remember to come here and ask all the questions you want . . .we learn from each other's questions . . .when you can, let us know how you are doing . . .take care, kc
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Offline Mikayla_lynn

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2014, 02:51:46 PM »
I have talked about it with my mom but I ask it over and over agina because it worry a me so much, I have not talked with a doctor either (again sorta worried about that too😬)

I am VERY concerned about my body.. I hate it so much I pick at it and everything /: it bothers me that much, I never used to notice how my body looked until about 5 months ago. I'm also about 5'3 .


I am homeschooled but a lot of it is overwhelming.

Thank you for replying.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2014, 06:06:10 PM »
Hi,

If you "hate" your body and you are picking at it, this sometimes can mean that you are unhappy about other things in your life . . . you might feel that you are missing out on meeting people your own age, or maybe doing everything at home for schooling by yourself is causing you anxiety, etc. But, you need to try one more time to speak with your Mom . . .

Perhaps you could approach your Mom once more and ask her to set up an appointment with a doctor because picking at your body is a sign that you need some guidance . . . being 15 is both a great time and a challenging one . . . for Moms and their daughters . . . now is the best time, though, to get some support for both of you so together you can figure out what needs to be done to help you develop a healthy attitude towards yourself and your body . . .

Make sure you tell Mom about what you are feeling, thinking, and about you picking at your body. If Mom is reluctant to set up a doctor's appointment, perhaps there is another adult who might be able to approach your Mom . . . but you need to start the conversation again with your Mom to find out if you can go to a doctor . . . .

Let us know how you are doing, okay? Take care, KC
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Offline Mikayla_lynn

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2014, 08:39:29 PM »
I am really unhappy in my life I have no social life, afraid to talk to people I always was left out when I even had friends, I think I am missing out I just dont know how to make friends :p I never get to go anywhere unless it's to target or something, I'm even scared to walk around my own street without thinking that someone is going to whisper something/point i'm also reaLLY terrified of getting mugged, sounds really pathetic but i'm working on it. \:

I've had anxiety my whole life it was extremely bad in public school thats why I switched,I have been talking to my mom but she just tells me the same things "dont think about it or stop thinking those dumb thoughts" I know what she means though \:

I am going to a psychologist in may to get some help, I have tried going to multiple counselors in the past but none of them never knew what was "wrong" with me
I also did go to the doctor too for medication and the recommendation for a psychologist.

But I do plan on letting you people(?) know how I am doing though.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2014, 01:17:34 AM »
Great . . . you are taking really good steps . . . sometimes when someone does not have anxiety, perhaps like your Mom, or even if they have anxiety but don't realize, it is easier for them to say things that might be frustrating to us who do have anxiety . . . it's not that they do not care; it's only because they do not understand what is going on for us . . . so, sometimes they say things like "just stop thinking those dumb thoughts" . . . . for them, it's the only way they can cope . . . . for those of us who do have anxiety, if it were an easy task to just stop thinking those thoughts, then we would have done it a long time ago . . . .

Because you do not have a social life because of anxiety means you need guidance to help you to manage your triggers that cause anxiety . . . . at 15, you are really very wise and are showing great strength . . . it takes a very smart and special person to know that they have a health issue and anxiety is simply a health issue that needs to be acknowledged and requires follow up . . . it's different from, say, a broken arm because the person is the one who has to heal him or herself which you are starting to do . . . .

Perhaps while you are waiting for May to come, we here can help with some suggestions . . . the first one that I would have is that you start to write a journal . . . even if it is just 2 lines at a time . . . in the journal, you can put whatever you want . . .for me, I might describe something in my day that made me anxious and what I did about it . . . when I am anxious, one of my symptoms is that I have this energy inside of me that needs to get out . . . in the beginning, all I could do were little things  . . . I started by just walking out my door and walking for 1 minute and turning around and walking back . . . it doesn't sound like much, but it gave me a sense of accomplishment or, instead of sitting and focusing on the anxiety, I would clean something . . .nothing big  .. . perhaps it was my sock drawer . . . . the other thing to think about doing, and there are many, is a technique called mindfulness . . .  I use the free online tapes at  http://www.selftherapy.org/stop-anxiety-panic-attacks.php  especially tape #6 . . . it takes a while to be able to focus long enough to do any of the tapes but recovery from anxiety is a process and not a one time event . . .

You are unhappy, but you are a strong person . . . right now you do not have a social life because of your anxiety . . . . and anxiety does tend to isolate us because of our fears but that is now . . . . it is not forever because you are showing insight into managing anxiety . . . .it is a bit more frustrating because mom seems to be having a difficult time for whatever reason but keep working to develop your inner strength . . . perhaps because of your concerns with going outside, you start by making a telephone friend . . . . is there anyone you can call? put a limit on how long you talk with this friend . . . . because you do not want to become dependent on anyone . . say, the both of you agree one call a day or every second day or whatever that lasts 10 minutes . . .. you talk 5 minutes about you and the other person talks 5 minutes about them . . . . perhaps there is someone in the neighbourhood that you could go for a walk with for 15 minutes . . . someone who you trusts and who understands that you are recovering from anxiety . . . .

Before I sign off . . . . we all have fears . . . sometimes fear is a good friend because it warns us of a danger but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and that is anxiety and we need to manage it . . . . your thoughts are not dumb . . . they are a part of you; these thoughts are not grounded in outside reality but because you are not happy and that's what you are focusing on, these thoughts become very strong and take over your life . . . .it has happened to me; it has happened to a great many of us . . . . right now, May seems a long way off but it isn't . . . try some of the suggestions above . . . . and come back here . . . just to say or to check in or to let us know what is going on or even just to get write to get it out in the open . . . we are a very welcoming community and all of us have been where you are . . .remain strong because in the end, you are you very best asset and you have already shown how strong you are . . . even though anxiety brain wants to take over your life, remember you are the one who determines who you are and right now, i am reading posts from someone who is very insightful and strong . . .take care, kc
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Offline Mikayla_lynn

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2014, 08:25:10 PM »
Thank you!! I've been on a panic spree lately, those things did help but they didn't help quite much.. I have a question if you don't mind, it's been really bothering me for a LONG  time for about 5 months, but can you have a normal period and be pregnant? ALOT of women say that you can and hdjdjncjfn UGH! It really annoys me cause I thought that you could not have a period and be pregnant.. Idk how many times I've looked that up and all the ignorant people that said you could, I do understand that you can have some certain type of bleeding but it wouldn't be a "period" UGH I'm so frustrated and confused, I know I'm not pregnant, can't be cause I've had very heavy periods, clots and everything even cramps.
I'm just so confused and I apologize for the dumb question..
(I forgot to put I'm not sexually active either)
I REALLY  need to stop thinking a dumb thought like that literally it's been non stop for a long time just dwelling on that..
I cannot stand women who say that you can have a period and still be pregnant it's just confusing me and worrying me for no reason! I just don't get it..
I feel really mental just for that..
I'm sorry for all this I just needed to let it all out you've been a great person to talk  too and I thank you for that.
Actually thank you for everything.
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Offline SummerSun41

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Re: um.. is this normal?
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2014, 10:11:59 PM »
If you are not sexually active, there is no way you could be pregnant. Do you understand how pregnancy works? A sperm would have to be present to fertilize an egg, so if you are not sexually active then it is impossible. Also, it is impossible to have a period when you are pregnant. Some women may have occasional spotting or very very light bleeding, but that is not the same as a period and can have some different causes. Again, it's basically impossible that you are pregnant. I'm not sure what you mean by your bikini line being "hard" but it may help to study anatomy and see what muscles and bones are in whatever area you are worried about. Your hips bones are near your bikini line and you have many other pelvic bones that would make that area feel solid or hard.
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