Great . . . you are taking really good steps . . . sometimes when someone does not have anxiety, perhaps like your Mom, or even if they have anxiety but don't realize, it is easier for them to say things that might be frustrating to us who do have anxiety . . . it's not that they do not care; it's only because they do not understand what is going on for us . . . so, sometimes they say things like "just stop thinking those dumb thoughts" . . . . for them, it's the only way they can cope . . . . for those of us who do have anxiety, if it were an easy task to just stop thinking those thoughts, then we would have done it a long time ago . . . .
Because you do not have a social life because of anxiety means you need guidance to help you to manage your triggers that cause anxiety . . . . at 15, you are really very wise and are showing great strength . . . it takes a very smart and special person to know that they have a health issue and anxiety is simply a health issue that needs to be acknowledged and requires follow up . . . it's different from, say, a broken arm because the person is the one who has to heal him or herself which you are starting to do . . . .
Perhaps while you are waiting for May to come, we here can help with some suggestions . . . the first one that I would have is that you start to write a journal . . . even if it is just 2 lines at a time . . . in the journal, you can put whatever you want . . .for me, I might describe something in my day that made me anxious and what I did about it . . . when I am anxious, one of my symptoms is that I have this energy inside of me that needs to get out . . . in the beginning, all I could do were little things . . . I started by just walking out my door and walking for 1 minute and turning around and walking back . . . it doesn't sound like much, but it gave me a sense of accomplishment or, instead of sitting and focusing on the anxiety, I would clean something . . .nothing big .. . perhaps it was my sock drawer . . . . the other thing to think about doing, and there are many, is a technique called mindfulness . . . I use the free online tapes at http://www.selftherapy.org/stop-anxiety-panic-attacks.php
especially tape #6 . . . it takes a while to be able to focus long enough to do any of the tapes but recovery from anxiety is a process and not a one time event . . .
You are unhappy, but you are a strong person . . . right now you do not have a social life because of your anxiety . . . . and anxiety does tend to isolate us because of our fears but that is now . . . . it is not forever because you are showing insight into managing anxiety . . . .it is a bit more frustrating because mom seems to be having a difficult time for whatever reason but keep working to develop your inner strength . . . perhaps because of your concerns with going outside, you start by making a telephone friend . . . . is there anyone you can call? put a limit on how long you talk with this friend . . . . because you do not want to become dependent on anyone . . say, the both of you agree one call a day or every second day or whatever that lasts 10 minutes . . .. you talk 5 minutes about you and the other person talks 5 minutes about them . . . . perhaps there is someone in the neighbourhood that you could go for a walk with for 15 minutes . . . someone who you trusts and who understands that you are recovering from anxiety . . . .
Before I sign off . . . . we all have fears . . . sometimes fear is a good friend because it warns us of a danger but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and that is anxiety and we need to manage it . . . . your thoughts are not dumb . . . they are a part of you; these thoughts are not grounded in outside reality but because you are not happy and that's what you are focusing on, these thoughts become very strong and take over your life . . . .it has happened to me; it has happened to a great many of us . . . . right now, May seems a long way off but it isn't . . . try some of the suggestions above . . . . and come back here . . . just to say or to check in or to let us know what is going on or even just to get write to get it out in the open . . . we are a very welcoming community and all of us have been where you are . . .remain strong because in the end, you are you very best asset and you have already shown how strong you are . . . even though anxiety brain wants to take over your life, remember you are the one who determines who you are and right now, i am reading posts from someone who is very insightful and strong . . .take care, kc