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Author Topic: HIV worries  (Read 183 times)

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Offline pinkette

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HIV worries
« on: March 16, 2014, 08:44:54 AM »
Hi, I'm new to this forum. Recently i've started worrying that i might have HIV. I've always been very careful, but I am haunted by this fling I had with a guy 4 years ago. I always insisted on using protection with him, but there was one time when he had sex with me while I was blackout drunk. I had no memory of what happened and for some reason assumed that he would have used a condom.  But thinking about it now he was always reluctant and had to be prompted. He'd had a lot of one night stands before me as well.

I never really thought about the potential risks of this for ages, i'm not sure why. But now I've started thinking about it and I feel so afraid. I really regret going out with him, I was quite young and he pressurised me into having sex with him even though I was quite unwilling, and it really upsets me to think that he could have given me somthing. I know it's unlikely but the thought that I'd have to live the rest of my life with this disease that he'd given me is horrible.  I couldn't bear it if I tested positive. I also worry that having waited 4 years to check, the virus will have advanced and be more difficult to treat.
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Offline pinkette

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Re: HIV worries
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2014, 12:42:53 PM »
Anyone?  :fragend005:
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Offline MobileChucko

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Re: HIV worries
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2014, 02:18:36 PM »
Hello Pinkette...  Welcome to Anxiety Zone!  I am sorry to hear about your concerns about contracting HIV.

You are now a member of our community, where you will find support and advice from other members in similar situations.   It's always nice to find someone else who understands, and to know you're not alone.

We have sections in the forum that address specific concerns, so feel free to post or start a new topic in the section that best fits your situation.  Feel free to explore the rest of the forum.  You may find the other topics helpful, and you may be able to offer advice or support to someone else.

We also have a chat room for members over the age of 18.  Once you have made ten meaningful posts, you will be allowed access to the chat room.

Pinkette, there are many things in your favor, that you do not have HIV.  First of all, you don't even know if the individual you had intercourse with four years ago, is HIV positive.  Chances are, they are not.  And HIV is not as easy to get as your might think.  When having unprotected intercourse with an HIV positive individual, your chances of transmission are only 1 in a 1,000, or 1/10th of 1%...  Also, if you are concerned about the possibility of acquiring HIV from a sex act that occurred four years ago, you should have been showing symptoms a long time ago.

Now, my suggestion to you is to face your fears, and there are two things you can do to accomplish this.  I have just started seeing a therapist, and I am being taught cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  In just one therapy session, I have begun to pick-up the tools to face the fears that are causing my anxieties.  CBT teaches you to think of the worst possible situation, and come to the determination that you have nothing to fear.  It is very empowering.  My next appointment with my therapist is tomorrow, and I am so looking forward to it.  So I would really suggest that you see a therapist.  Another thing you can do is to see your physician and be tested for HIV.  I did that a few years ago, and it really put my mind at ease, as I'm sure it would yours.

Again, welcome to Anxiety Zone, and the very best to you, Pinkette!...  Chuck :grinning-smiley-003:
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Offline stephtronic

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Re: HIV worries
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2014, 03:51:27 PM »
My suggestion to you is to just get tested. There are a lot of programs that offer free or low cost HIV testing that is quick, easy, and painless. You'll have your results within 20 minutes, and you'll be able to move on with your life. Have you donated blood since then? If so, and if you haven't gotten a letter from where you donated and are eligible to donate again, then you are HIV-, as they test your blood for that.

It's highly unlikely that you have HIV as MobileChucko has stated - first off, you don't know that he was even HIV+ in the first place; second off, it's not easy to transmit; and third, he might have used a condom to begin with. So, it's very unlikely that you have HIV, and it isn't something worth worrying day in and day out about, but testing will give you a definitive answer. All sexually active people need to be screened anyways!

I do want to clear something up, though.

Quote
Also, if you are concerned about the possibility of acquiring HIV from a sex act that occurred four years ago, you should have been showing symptoms a long time ago.

As comforting as that would be, it isn't true. You can go without symptoms for even a decade. A lot of people have HIV for years without realizing it. I doubt this is the case for you, Pink, really and truly - BUT, I wanted to touch on this because it's misinformation.
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Offline MobileChucko

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Re: HIV worries
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2014, 05:25:47 PM »
I do agree with Steph regarding when symptoms of HIV can occur.  This seems to be a highly individual trait, that one's genetic make-up plays a key role.  I have know individuals that had difficulty with HIV symptoms several years after testing positive.  I also read of individuals that seem to be immune to HIV, and merely carriers of the virus.

As I have mentioned, I would encourage you to get tested, and if health worries seem to plague you, I would suggest therapy.

The very best to you, Pinkette!...  Chuck :grinning-smiley-003:
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