Hello Pinkette... Welcome to Anxiety Zone! I am sorry to hear about your concerns about contracting HIV.
You are now a member of our community, where you will find support and advice from other members in similar situations. It's always nice to find someone else who understands, and to know you're not alone.
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Pinkette, there are many things in your favor, that you do not have HIV. First of all, you don't even know if the individual you had intercourse with four years ago, is HIV positive. Chances are, they are not. And HIV is not as easy to get as your might think. When having unprotected intercourse with an HIV positive individual, your chances of transmission are only 1 in a 1,000, or 1/10th of 1%... Also, if you are concerned about the possibility of acquiring HIV from a sex act that occurred four years ago, you should have been showing symptoms a long time ago.
Now, my suggestion to you is to face your fears, and there are two things you can do to accomplish this. I have just started seeing a therapist, and I am being taught cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). In just one therapy session, I have begun to pick-up the tools to face the fears that are causing my anxieties. CBT teaches you to think of the worst possible situation, and come to the determination that you have nothing to fear. It is very empowering. My next appointment with my therapist is tomorrow, and I am so looking forward to it. So I would really suggest that you see a therapist. Another thing you can do is to see your physician and be tested for HIV. I did that a few years ago, and it really put my mind at ease, as I'm sure it would yours.
Again, welcome to Anxiety Zone, and the very best to you, Pinkette!... Chuck