After a few years of going online and reading posts about anxiety I've finally decided to write my own. A brief history about myself (as some of you might relate):
I was diagnosed with GAD when I was very young around 7. It only was due to my parent's thinking I had ADHD at a young age and I was found to have Anxiety disorder, I used to faint in class, cry, throw up. All physical symptoms that I had no clue about. Anxiety really didn't effect me in a way I realized until I entered Middle School. There I faced my first encounter with Hypochondria. It all started because I was born with a heart murmur and I thought that I would have a heart problem at any moment. And it bounced off of that, it went away for 2 years, came back. I got psychological help but never went on medication because I was afraid (hypochondria) that I would become addicted or not be myself. My parents helped me at the age of 16 go and get holistic help and go see a nutritionist who told me to eat a diet to help control my anxiety, by cutting out caffeine, refined sugars, and dairy. He also introduced me to meditation. I was young and really didn't grasp these methods and went away from them.
About 4 years ago I had a major problem in my life that led me to have a on going attack still lasting. I moved back into my parent's house in 2010 at the age of 20 due to having a huge anxiety attack in college. I couldn't breath in my dorm room, I couldn't eat, I was depressed, I thought I had many diseases and issues. I decided the best thing for me would be to come home and get myself fixed. I went back to therapy but I couldn't follow through with it because of money. I started going online looking for answers but this only led me to googling my problems. I became an insomniac, I was eating horribly and I couldn't get my ***** together. Since then, 4 years later my life has gotten better but I still have severe Hypochondria. Last year I went to the ER three times thinking I had a heart attack. I'm also deathly afraid that I'll catch AIDS from my boyfriend, or that I'll die at work because I've overworked myself. I'm always getting headaches, I had a CT scan last year because of it and was fine. I went to yoga for a month which I found helps but I don't have the money to do it any more. Sometimes I watch scary television or see something on the internet and it makes me have an anxiety attack, like i'll watch a movie about something having cancer and then I'll think I have skin cancer and then go to the dermatologist, or I'll watch a scary movie and think I'll become the monster in it and hurt people. I really don't know what to do at this point, I tell my family but they just don't know what to do for me anymore, and have givin up and just tell me to get over it. I really wish that I wasn't like this, and I wish that I didn't have to go through anxiety every day. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? What are things that could help me and make me feel like a human again?