I am 25 years old and have been with my boyfriend (28 years old) for three years now. We currently live together and have a very loving and happy relationship! Our second year though, was very, very difficult for us as I discovered that I have an issue with alcohol. It wasn't until this relationship that I realized I have such a problem with it. When my boyfriend was in college, he drank like your "typical" college student. Would go out on the weekends, and drank to get drunk. I rarely drink and have rarely ever drank. After a few drunken nights early on in our relationship, I realized I couldn't handle it anymore. So for the next year it was arguments and conversations trying to get to the bottom of it. For awhile, he didn't understand where my feelings were coming from, nor did I. We didn't really know how to go about handling things either, until pretty much a year later we realized that we had to find a middle ground or it wasn't going to work. I knew that I could not give him an ultimatum because he could eventually resent me one day, which is probably why the process took so long. My boyfriend, being the sweet guy that he is, has not been drunk in over a year and a half. He has respected my concerns, and I have finally built up this trust so that every time we go out, I don't worry whether or not he is going to get drunk. (It's a huge turn-off for me, and in the beginning when he would get drunk- I would get very distant, not want to talk to him, be touched by him, etc.) To this day though, whenever a social event comes up, like his yearly family reunion (his family LOVES to drink) or weddings, etc...a little part of me still gets anxious leading up to the event. I try to hide it because I don't want him to think that I haven't moved passed it...But fast-forward to last night. We got on the topic of strip-clubs because his coworker recently went to one on his bachelor party weekend, which led to relationship problems. My BF said that his coworker did not want to go, but the rest of the group did so he just went. (Right, I'm sure...). However, I also know alcohol played a huge factor in that night, and so when my BF asked what my feelings were on the subject, I just simply said we talked about this for an entire year, I really hope it stuck. I told him that every time I think about his bachelor weekend I get massive anxiety because I know all that is involved.. (I know he won't do strip clubs, but I DO know he will get drunk). Why do I allow myself to get so worked up over something that is so far down the road (We are not even engaged!!). He continues to ask why I get so worked up over something that hasn't happened in so long...and I said I guess because I know it's going to happen that weekend. And he always says "So you don't trust me?"...and I always say... "No, it's not you I don't trust...it's the alcohol." So I guess, I just want to know or would like help on why I get so upset over things that aren't even in the present... and why I have such strong feelings towards alcohol...and why, even after a year and a half of my BF respecting my wishes that I STILL have a hard time attending social events that will have heavy drinking? Especially at his family reunion, when it's just FAMILY there. I have never considered myself an insecure person...or a jealous person for that matter because I know that I have a keeper that will never, ever hurt me, cheat on me, etc. I'm not naive, I know that I have a truly, good man. So why is it that something like alcohol is controlling my life and my feelings to the point where I can't let the thoughts go and I just continue to build it up in my head? Sorry for the jumbled mess...it's my first post on here. Thanks for listening!