Does anyone else struggle with questioning everything you have never questioned before anxiety?!
Here's an example: I fear depression (because of a scary Pure O obsession I have which I'd also like to get rid of), so when I'm feeling anxious, I constantly question my emotions and monitor them to make sure I'm not actually depressed. Even when I'm not feeling particularly anxious, like when I'm just at home watching TV, I double check my reactions to things. Sometimes I even feel like I'm manually reacting to things- as in not reacting naturally. Sometimes I honestly have no idea whether I'm reacting to something in a way that I think is "normal" or if I'm forcing myself to react that way. It's SO weird and scares me because if I think I'm forcing myself to react, I worry about what the other option would be. Would I just not react or just sit there? I don't know. I want to be clear that I'm not apathetic-- I think anxiety actually makes me over-emotional. I cry over the most sappy, silly, "OMG that was so cute I might cry" type ways! Haha. So even though I know I'm not depressed (I've taken a bunch of online screening tests and looked up all the symptoms and none match how I feel), I still fear it and check for it. If I'm not 100% happy at all times, I start worrying. I guess you could say I try to avoid all negative emotions, which I know isn't healthy either. I'm tired of overthinking everything and questioning myself! I've never been this way and was so carefree before anxiety came along about six months ago. Anyone have any advice or self-help books that would be good for me?