Hi, I am new here, like many others I suppose.
I am sick of being scared and worried. I want to be happy and feel free - but anxiety gets me so down and depressed.
I'm having anxiety related body problems right now that are making me miserable. I am always finding something new on my body that is wrong or uncomfortable and I OBSESS over it and make myself sick. I also think the worst when it comes to my health.
I starting seeing/kind of dating a wonderful man who is loving and accepts me for the woman I am - flaws and all. He treats me like a princess - but I can't handle the relationship already. It is stressing me out and I don't know why! I'm so scared I am going to ruin the first good relationship with a man that I have ever had in my life. I can't handle it and I can't take it. My body is reacting in stress/anxiety overkill right now because I am so freaked out that I finally found a good man. I know I should be happy and relaxed but the whole relationship is moving fast and I am not used to it.
I have so many hopes and dreams for my future - but my anxiety gets in the way of everything! I want to feel healthy and happy and relaxed and loved. I want a career and a husband and a home and kids. I'm afraid none of that will ever happen for me because I simply can't handle any of it.
I also have bipolar disorder and the highs and lows of that are exhausting. I have too many thoughts in my head and I can't get them out. I can't explain my actions or why I do certain things.
I made an appointment with a psychiatrist but that is not for 3 weeks. It can't come soon enough. This is my last hope at finding some sort of "relief" in my life.
All I want to do is taking a sleeping pill and sleep for days, weeks, months. I just want relief and I am paranoid I am never going to find it.