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Author Topic: What to you is the worst part of HA?  (Read 313 times)

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Offline NightBlizzard

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What to you is the worst part of HA?
« on: March 08, 2014, 07:36:29 PM »
So I'd like to ask everyone, what do you guys feel is the worst part of HA?

For me I think it's knowing that I wasn't always like this. I've only had HA for abut 5 months. I've always been an anxious person (I used to be terrified of the weather ... and after that I was scared that someone was going to break into the house, ect. ect.) But I never really thought of my health as an issue. I have Lupus - had that ever once scared me? Nope. I had a migraine for 3 days after hitting the back of my head on the sofa - was I worried? Not a chance. I had Pneumonia when I was in 5th grade and was told I could die from it. Did that terrify me? Not at all I was just glad I was out of school for 3 weeks. I used to get headaches probably 3 times a week, was I ever once concerned? Never, complained about the pain but I just popped a pill and was fine.

But HA has changed all of that. Every minor head pain makes me terrified, the slightest sign of dizziness makes me tense up with fear. Fatigue leaves me curled up in bed wondering if I'll ever end this nightmare.

So for me, beating HA not only is me trying to get better mentally, but to become the person I once was. To get back to that point where I can get a headache and say 'Eh, darn I need to take a pill, the weather is affecting me'  :yes:


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Offline Sunlover

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2014, 08:01:07 PM »
I think the worst part is that when I have no symptoms of anything and feel real happy my mind flips to, "But how long will this last... what will the next symptom be?  And will the next one be the REAL disease that will come and get me" 
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Offline Scaredofsymptoms

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2014, 04:10:01 PM »
I think the worst part is that when I have no symptoms of anything and feel real happy my mind flips to, "But how long will this last... what will the next symptom be?  And will the next one be the REAL disease that will come and get me"

Yes!!!! I'm always waiting for the next thing.
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Offline naynaydevil2

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2014, 04:49:13 PM »
For me its the obsessing over the symptoms and the fear.
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Offline Hypo84

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2014, 05:37:18 PM »
Losing hope for me probably. When I think I have some deadly disease, and I am going to die soon, I think to myself : "What's the point of doing anything, you are gonna be dead in a year or two?"
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Offline BrambleRamble93

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2014, 06:04:08 PM »
For me its the depression that comes a long with it.  Just like you OP, I would get sick, break bones, ect and not even care all the way up until I was 18.  I went on with my happy life smiling only thinking of the amazing possibilities my future may hold for me.  But once I started having panic attacks and thought my life was actually ending I came to realize how fragile my little body is and it could come to an end from a thousand different ways at any moment.

Every cough and ache I get now just reminds me of my impending doom and, like Hypo84, makes me think "Whats the reason to keep going when I can get struck down at any moment?"  I would love to get back to those carefree days, and I have made some progress.  I don't even get panic attack anymore :) so I still have hope I'll get there.
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Offline CrazyQuacker75

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2014, 06:45:29 PM »
For me it's the constant hours wasted in fear and searching, and the damage that i've done because I know basically every symptom of every disease on the planet which will make it harder for me to realize "hey this pain? yeah it's probably because I tweaked something" where now i'm like "back pain?!?! must be a spinal tumor! :traurig001:"
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Offline anagargano

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2014, 07:08:08 PM »
All of the above
the precious time wasted ....the times when you feel totally hopeless....
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2014, 07:21:42 PM »
I hate the thoughts that come when I'm consumed with fear, convinced I'm going to die. Thoughts of dying and missing my children, not being there to see them grow up, missing my husband and family, ect.

I too miss and long for those carefree days - and just like Quacker - I know a lot of symptoms of a lot of diseases and it'll will be so much harder to write things off as benign in the future when I DO go into a "remission" as I have before.
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Offline cbear

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2014, 03:16:36 AM »
The worst part for me is how it negatively affects my relationship with my husband.
He's patient, but definitely doesn't understand it.
I hate being consumed by a fear until I am assured it is nothing, and then always moving on to something else.
That's something he really can't stand. A doctor or specialist telling me I am fine, to him should mean I am over it. But it doesn't work that way ! I donut the doctors. Always think they must have missed something. That I didn't explain my symptoms to them properly. That I'll be in one of those features on the news, showing how terrible the health care system is. I am a master at worst case scenarios.
It is hard hiding my anxiety from everyone around me. My husband is really the only one who knows I have anxiety at all and he really only gets a glimpse here and there. He has no idea how bad it can be. I hide it because I am ashamed I guess. Intellectually/logically I know that wasting so much time worrying about illness and death is preventing me from living the life I want. But I just can't shake it.
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Offline deeferlynn

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2014, 03:25:30 AM »
The worst part of HA for me is having to avoid anything medical or HA inducing. For instance, my sister is going through a heart issue, and not being able to listen to her without fear of worrying about what if that happens to me? Or wondering if my heart is ok, even though I have gone through tests a couple years back, really bothers me.
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"Just a heads up: 90% of the things you worry about will never happen. 90% of the things that happen will never occurred to you."

Offline ahefner33

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Re: What to you is the worst part of HA?
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2014, 04:31:31 PM »
Mine is just not feeling good everyday and not knowing how to not think about it
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