I relate. Oh boy, do I. I guess my post heading would be similar. I am in so deep and despite a slew of psychs and therapists and dr visits, I am entrenched that Im dying from something they can't find or that's developing. I truly believe if they gave me a reasonable explanation (like oh, its just your thyroid), I would be fine in a split second (until the next crisis starts).
I have posted before. I am in the middle of an ALS phase myself. I dont fear diseases you can live with (like MS) but I fear the biggies and latch on. Its been 6 months of hellish symptoms that honestly CANNOT all be attributed to anxiety, yet 3 neuros later, 3 brain MRIs, an eeg, emg, spinal tap and bloodwork, I have officially exhausted every possible subspeciality except a podiatrist :)) I actually showed up today at an ENT begging to be seen b/c I thought the white spots in my mouth were tongue cancer. I don't want him to tell me yes, but I feel so deflated after every visit because I have zero diagnosis.
My symptoms have been so wide and varied and changing - burning pain all over, muscle spasms, twitching, occipital pressure. I have unexplainable things too, like involuntary swallowing and internal tremors while waking- with all dr's exhausted and no rationale explanation (except that I am 45 and have 3 kids and its possibly menopause), I always default to the neurological biggies, like ALS. I was told mine was Benign fasiculation but I just can't accept it it seems so wishy washy. Even after having an EMG, including tongue EMG, I still worry, that its "developing." I really don't want to live the next year of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Hang in there.