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Author Topic: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls  (Read 202 times)

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Offline Kaylong

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New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« on: March 04, 2014, 11:41:27 AM »
Hi! :action-smiley-065:

I thought best to start with a bit of an introduction i'm 27 and have had HA properly (very anxious etc before but not like this!) since my first lo was born six years ago and I'm now in this viscous circle.

I've gone through worrying I've got most cancers (although throat, cervical and breast in particular).  Anyways I've decided to join to see if I can help myself a little bit, as to be honest I don't know what to do any more and I feel like my husband, mum etc just don't know what to say/do to make me feel better (it's kind of like "not this againnnnnnn!!!"). 

Ok so at the moment I'm back to BC, I have very lumpy boobs and am forever prodding and poking "just to check".  I do try to stop usually after seeing the Dr who reassures me they feel like normal boobs, although they are a bit lumpy.  The only prob with this is after a few weeks of leaving them alone when I do check again I end up thinking the old bumps are new ones or just drive myself mad (and everyone else) thinking what was there before seems bigger.   This time I ended up going back to the Dr and to be honest felt embarrassed because i haven't been out of the place recently.  She had a feel etc and said "they feel lumpy but I'm not concerned, although I think for your reassurance I will refer you to the Breast Clinic".  Well OMG I felt like being sick so I said "what do you mean, you must be really worried then!" she said  "no I'm not worried, I just think it might help to reassure you.  I wouldn't lie, if I thought it was something concerning I would tell you".  So now I'm sat here analyzing exactly what she said and questioning whether I even remembered it correctly!

So do you guys think if she was slightly concerned she would tell me and is it quite standard to be referred to a breast clinic for reassurance.  Also no mention of an actual lump just lumpy boobs in general 

Thank you for reading this (apologies if its a bit long winded).

K
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2014, 01:35:36 PM »
Your family sounds like mine.   My husband just tells me I'm the healthiest person he knows, my daughter rolls her eyes at me and my mom gets mad....   

There ARE usually lumps in boobs and yes, you may feel some new ones if you are feeling them about 2 weeks before your period.  I was always told to self exam about 10 days after my period starts...   little cysts are common and half of them will disappear right after your period only to return again before the next period.  I am too squeamish to self exam, not only that I am petrified of finding something so I don't do it.  I told my doctor and she said that one clinical exam by a doctor is sufficient, that most people don't even know what they are looking for!  So I had her do it last June and will have it done again this June (my GP).  (I'm post menopausal so I don't get lumps and no lumps and lumps again since I don't have a cycle anymore, but when I had my period I too was told I had a lot of little cysts when the gyno would feel around)

And again you sound like me!!  With the "Did I hear the doctor right?  Did he/she really say this or that?  Then you keep going over and over and over it in your mind, then you recall a certain inflection in their voice and you think, "Oh no, maybe they meant THIS!"    Isn't health anxiety horrible???

I'd believe her when she said she is not concerned or worried.  She wouldn't SAY that because maybe you'd decide NOT to go.  She would just say, "I'm referring you to the Breast Clinic" and that's it.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2014, 02:09:27 PM »
Sunlover, you give lovely responses. What we have (or had, also post menopause) are fibrocystic tissues that will feel lumpy.

Went through biopsies and ultra sound tests, all negative. Once they found something so close to the chest wall they said they might puncture my lung to see if they could aspirate it. After much agonizing I said, OK, do it. They were able to aspirate it. This can drive us nuts. Trust your doctor and accept what is. It is not the dreaded ca.
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Offline floridaguy65

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Re: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2014, 03:28:36 PM »
Hi K:) Welcome to The AZ. I'm sure you'll find some compassion, here, and some insight as to how you might be able to better help yourself seek out some lasting peace.

I agree with tinam7 about Sunlover's reply, too:)

Let me jump right to the meat of my reply. Medical testing for reassurance ("peace of mind") is something that a lot of medical Docs (non-psychiatric) will offer up. It is also something that provides fleeting, at best, relief to an amped up HA person. Our Docs see a patient obviously anxious (despite our best attempt to keep our HA 'secret', maybe:) and most Docs want to help - this is their business and livelihood - helping people feel better through medicine. Trouble is that, overwhelmingly (and I mean incredibly overwhelmingly) we don't need medical intervention for our current struggles. History and experience shows us that HA peeps, as a collective group, are just as healthy as non-HA folk. Our lifespan expectancy certainly has to mirror the general population's. With HA, each of us feel our case is the one, though, that will buck all the odds and we will fall victim to a sinister disease / illness despite our hyper-vigilance over our health. The fear and the pervasive, anxious drive to 'protect' ourselves can lead us into some nasty lifeflow interruptions, for sure. But, this 'protection' is pretty much a myth. Most anything above going to the Doc for our yearly check-ups / physicals is feeding our HA. Most anything above our age appropriate, gender specific and family history related screenings feeds our HA. Of course, there are times when we need to see a Doc for illness, perhaps. But, to me, HA peeps really have to set the bar of running off to the Doc much HIGHER than most people, as we have HA / ADs and THESE things create just as much or even MORE potential lifeflow interruptions than a medical issue. And, as has been shown, when HA peeps actually do have an actual medical matter that needs attention (serious or regular), we go about handling it pretty darn well. Sure, we are freaked a bit (so would be everyone), but we have been shown to be very good patients...following directions and maintaining a positive will to get better:) Sounds so friggin' risky to an HA mind....."move away from medical intervention...what are you crazy!". "I just know I have a failing body somewhere / somehow...I just know it!". "How can I move away from medical intervention? " Maybe your case wasn't as bad as mine...maybe you weren't so freakin' sure you time was gonna come too soon...but I feel it in my bones and nerves and skin and muscles and body...I just know it!" That was me, as well...many years ago.

We open up a whole can of worms when we put ourselves in front of a med Doc, too often. Too much testing gets performed, ultimately. 'Things' are found that are just a bit off that would normally have no bearing on our overall health outlook, but because we are HA peeps we totally freak. And, the cycles continue....as we now have to know what in the hell is that tiny cyst on my liver that was picked up by that CT scan, that we really didn't need. Is it cancer? Will it become cancer? I'm SURE it will become cancer! Etc. Tons of peeps have cysts.....almost all those people never see them or even know about them. This is just ONE type of 'bleed over' that can occur from unneeded med intervention. I cannot tell you how many times I have this 'bleed over' effect create so much future havoc, anxiety AND additional medical testing!

I am a big fan of modern medicine, trust me. Medicine saves lives. But, what almost all of us here on The AZ need to 'save' is our ability to be the major definer of our overall well-being. We feel lost when floundering with anxiety. We have serious doubt. We feel we have little chance of a viable LASTING healing path, a lot of the time. We sure can learn how to live well, though, alongside our mental health challenges...certainly. Anxiety does not have to define us. It's part of us....but it does not have to define us:)

I try to stay away from actually telling people (my opinion) to NOT have this or that test. First, I'm not a Doc. Second, I'm not living your life. But, what I do know with pretty assured confidence is that we, eventually, have to move away from seeking out medical intervention for what is majorly a mental health issues. There is little chance for a lasting healing path if we are racing off to the Doc often, or googling incessantly, or self-checking vitals all the time. Sure we "get by"....most of us...by living this way. I sure lived this way for a good while (many years). It leads us in a looping circle, though....it keeps us in fear cycles. At some point we have to ACCEPT our major challenge is in our minds, our thinking patterns, our actions and habits in order for us to live where anxiety is calling very few of the shots. This can be done:)

Peace and Feel Well:)



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Offline Kaylong

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Re: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2014, 04:25:57 PM »
Thank u v much for taking the time to reply to me (I've never put anything on the internet b4 I felt a little embarrassed).
Your replies really do make such sense and have helped me gain alittle perspective so thank u again. X
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: New and looking for a bit of reassurance pls
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2014, 06:49:38 PM »
I've got lumpy boobs, both my mom and grandmother do as well. I had to have an ultrasound last August which brought back my HA into full force (before that I like to say I was in "remission" for over 3 years).

Try not to freak out. I know I did. My doctor found a lump and wanted to refer me out to have an ultrasound. I started freaking out and said "oh my gosh, I'm going to worry about this" and she said "well, its soft, movable, and I'm not worried about it, so you shouldn't be either"

Sure enough, I went in for my ultrasound on Thursday and they found a small, simple, fluid-filled cyst.

Well because I wouldn't accept one opinion, I had another ultrasound the following Tuesday - they couldn't even find a lump at all!

I believe that it was due to dehydration. I read somewhere that your body will "store" water in your boobs in the form of fluid filled cysts. So from Thursday to Tuesday I CHUGGED water, and sure enough, on Tuesday it was completely gone!
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