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Author Topic: Anxiety and my marriage  (Read 164 times)

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Offline SanFranGiants

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Anxiety and my marriage
« on: March 03, 2014, 02:15:58 PM »
Hello,

This is my first time every being on one of these kinds of Message Boards.  I have been diagnosed with many kinds of Anxiety disorders since a recent Panic Attack I had a couple of weeks ago.  I have since been seeking therapy and medication for the subject.  My anxiety has been diagnosed as severe and debilitating (not wanting to leave the couch, not eating at all, unable to work, etc.  A depression has come a long with it as well.  Sorry If I am doing an odd job of explaining the situation, but I have some Lorazepam and Fluoxentine in me right now, hahaha.

Yet, one part is really, really freaking me out.  I love my wife.  I love her more than anything in the world.  She has been incredibly supportive of this whole thing and our 8 years together have been the happiest 8 years of my life.

But since the Panic attack, she has been a source of anxiety to me for no reason (I'm assuming, since she was there during my panic attack, I'm associating anxiety with her now).  She has done everything possible to be there for me and has been an incredible wife throughout all of this.  But thoughts and such of separating and divorce have been going through my head ever since.  Which makes no sense given how much I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.  At night when we are settled down, and all of my nerves are calm, we cuddle to a movie and it's wonderful.  But the ideas of divorce hit my brain and terrifying me.

Is it just my body going into "fight or flight" mode with my wife?  Has anyone here had something similar happen with their wife or husband during an anxiety episode?  What happened with your relationships after such an episode?

The same thing has happened with our house.  There has been so many anxiety episodes that that when I pull into the driveway, it feels like I'm pulling into the Amityville house, hahaha.

So any stories and answers or questions anyone would like to share?

Thanks!
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Offline SanFranGiants

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Re: Anxiety and my marriage
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2014, 03:34:07 PM »
Forgot to mention, does my body just see my wife as a danger due to the anxiety?  Or will this go away through therapy?  These ideas of divorce are terrifying to me.
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Offline SanFranGiants

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Re: Anxiety and my marriage
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2014, 03:07:35 PM »
Last night I had an episode of pure normalsy.  I still had a pit of anxiety in my stomach, but I was having fun with and loving my wife very much.  It was my first day on Prozac (mixed with the therapy session I had that day), so perhaps it was just a freak thing that I felt normal again so soon.

The next morning, I felt normal as well, if a bit anxious.  It was decent, but as I left for work panic began to set in and I used several techniques to try and calm myself down.  I calmed myself down, but it feels like the mild-panic attack set back a weeks worth of therapy.  I am now taking medical leave from my job to deal with this situation.  I work in public transportation, and therefore it is not safe for me being in such a state.

I am meditated now, which has both helped and made me really sleepy, hahaha.

I have a bunch of different of these disorders, so I apologize if this is in the wrong forum.  I am just using this as more of a diary now to track my progress and talk to anyone who has anything to say.

Thanks!
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Anxiety and my marriage
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2014, 08:35:57 PM »
Hi SanFran,

Welcome to the neighborhood.  I'm not an expert by any means.  I deal more with generalized anxiety myself.
But I want to say you're lucky to have a partner who is supportive.  I'm a gay single man and would love to have
a partner through these times.

It sounds like you're new to prozac, so give things time.  I wouldn't associate your wife with the anxiety.
I can tell you that 20 years ago, I was dealing with bipolar and social anxiety.  Then I started taking
prozac and lithium (lithium is for bipolar) -- and since then I haven't deal with social anxiety or bipolar
in all that time.

Stay hopeful!
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Offline SanFranGiants

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Re: Anxiety and my marriage
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2014, 10:07:15 AM »
So I shouldn't be worried about my marriage?  I know I love her more than anything in the world, but my anxiety and depression is telling me to divorce.  For no reason either.  I think my body is in fight or flight mode, and it wants me to run away and be alone, even though I really do not.
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