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Author Topic: Self diagnosing of HA  (Read 151 times)

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Offline Hales91

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Self diagnosing of HA
« on: March 02, 2014, 05:03:28 PM »
Hi y'all, I'm 21 and new to this site. I recently have come to the conclusion that I suffer from HA. I got my anxiety diagnosis back in October and it's only seemed to escalate since. I've suffered from HA I believe since early middle school maybe even earlier. But since October it's been out of control. I was admitted to the hospital for evaluation due to me passing out at work. My D dimer was elevated and they initially thought i had a pulmonary embolism. Tests came back negative and I was released along with an echo. The only thing abnormal was low potassium and high WBC. In January I had my first real panic attack and I thought I was dying. The only thing I could think of was that blood clot really was in my lung. It subsided though and I accepted it was a panic attack. I got really sick with pneumonia a few weeks later and I feel like ever since then I just can't "snap out" of this funk I'm in. I'm forever finding new symptoms. Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like I just can't breathe, feeling like there is a lump in my throat right under my jaw and I just can't swallow although I can, lately it's been this weird weakness on my whole left side of my body although I'm not weak. My shoulder kinda feels like it fell asleep? Now I just feel "hazy" like everything around me is a dream and it's terrifying to me. I was on vacation this last week and had zero fun due to worrying about my "symptoms." Right now I don't have insurance so I can't really go to the doctor. I was prescribed Celexa and of course I read the online horror stories and now I'm
Afraid to take it. I feel crazy and like nobody understands me so I just cry and cry :( I'm at my breaking point. I just want to feel normal again!
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: Self diagnosing of HA
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2014, 07:10:25 PM »
All those things sound anxiety related!    A blood clot in your lung wouldn't "come and go" with breathing problems, it would come and get worse and worse and worse.  My Grandfather had one.  (they were able to dissolve it and he was fine)
I am so so sorry to hear you couldn't even enjoy your vacation.  You are in the right place here because I (and all of us here)TOTALLY understand what you are going through!  So feel free to just keep coming here, reading people's posts and posting yourself whenever you feel the need to.
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Offline bittersweetlife

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Re: Self diagnosing of HA
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2014, 09:56:23 PM »
Hi there @Hales91, welcome to AZ! First off i think were almost on the same boat! because i am 20 years old myself and my Health anxiety started when i was 18 back in 2012 around early August because i was convinced myself that i had "have" a Bone Cancer on my left knee because i had this swelling on my left knee that is so stiff and painful to move and it turn out to be just a meniscus tear after i begged my mom to get me checked. And so on after that until months go by, i finally feared Hodgkin's Lymphoma because i've been dealing with night sweats and i realize all those night sweats are related to Anxiety! And so on i started to get obsessed with Brain Tumor because i was getting bad headaches at the end of the day, unsteadiness, sensation of pressure in the bridge of my nose & my head & lightheadedness. Not to mention i also convinced that i have MS and ALS because of my persistent muscle twitching all over my body! there is also one time i found a bruise on my knee when i had a fever and of course bam! Leukemia is the first diagnosis of Dr. Google! And up until now i feel so scared and back to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma fear! been abusing myself to Alcohol to prove i don't get any immediate severe pain felt but i feel like my arms especially my left finger next to the middle finger on the left are tingling but i felt it when i am already like tipsy, not instant like the first few sips. hopefully it's all anxiety! Since i am really really scared of drinking alcohol probably my mind and body programs it! Also been dealing with low back pain lately, hopefully it's all just stress related and of course my weight issues could be sometimes the culprit of low back pain because to be honest i am overweight myself. I hope i am right

I just really can't imagine myself getting diagnosed of "Hodgkin's Lymphoma"! Really scared! I feel sorry for my mom because i really wanted to help her when i finish college and she's the only one who support my education and personal needs because she's the only parent/guardian i have! Can't imagine myself consuming all of our resources just for my treatment if that happens! Oh My God! Please God help me. Mary mother of God, help me!

Sorry for my long post, it's just that i hope i am not the only one who suffer from big crazy obsession of Lymphoma! I just really can't deal with this anymore!

Anyway, i wish nothing but best of lucks and good life for all of us  :angel-smiley-006:
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"There's a time & a place to die.. but this ain't it"

Hakuna Matata - "It means no worries"

“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” - Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

Offline Hales91

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Re: Self diagnosing of HA
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2014, 10:37:02 PM »
I too, have been fearing about lymphoma. That's been definitely one of my fears. Mainly because I've suffered a lot of the symptoms. Or I think I have. Mainly the whole pain under my left rib. Aka thinking my spleen is enlarged although it mainly only hurts when I'm stressed and I'm realizing my whole entire body is tense. It feels like almost all my symptoms now are breathing related. Like shortness of breath, feeling like I can't get enough oxygen, fear of choking, ect.
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Offline halesy

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Re: Self diagnosing of HA
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2014, 11:07:47 PM »
hey Hales91,

from one Hales to another ( :P ) just want to say hi and I totally get what you're going through. Although Lymphoma isn't something I fear right now (YET....haha) i have countless other fears that range from colon/intestinal/pancreatic/ovarian/breast/brain cancer to MS to going blind. I'll be 21 next month and I've had countless clear blood tests, a clear chest X-Ray and breast ultrasound last month, a clear CT scan of my head last month, an MRI (results pending though miraculously after I had it my symptoms went away.... so i'm not too worried, lol), as well as a CT scan/ultrasound of my abdomen and pelvis in october. Yet, today i woke up and was convinced my vision was really bad... then i started focusing on my breathing (lung cancer?! the x-rays and blood tests must have missed something!!). Sure enough as soon as i stop focusing and worrying about one symptom, it goes away and i move on to the next one. The more you learn to accept that it's anxiety and your body is emulating all the symptoms you're worried about (This is called somatization!) you'll learn that you're in fact NOT sick. The days that I feel the best physically are the days that my anxiety is at its lowest. It just takes time and some training of how you think, and maybe meds if that's what works for you ( i understand your reservations though. I've been prescriped Klonopin AND ativan but i've been too afraid to really try either).

It will get better with time, I promise :)

-halesy
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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Offline bittersweetlife

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Re: Self diagnosing of HA
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2014, 11:57:16 PM »
@Hales91, i could cry right now because at least someone can relate to my pain and despair. It's really a hard life in here
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"There's a time & a place to die.. but this ain't it"

Hakuna Matata - "It means no worries"

“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” - Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

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