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Author Topic: Don't know what to do anymore  (Read 190 times)

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Offline KevinMcGovern

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Don't know what to do anymore
« on: February 28, 2014, 12:27:02 PM »
There's days where I'm completely fine and I'm able to say to myself that these symptoms I have are just simple. But I always have that "what if" feeling. I've had a little lower back pain and muscle pain everywhere and I keep thinking it's linked to cancer spreading in my body. Starting with my eyes I feel like I have melanoma in the eye. They have been bothering me lately and I found a grey flat spot on the white of my eye. I play basketball everyday to keep my mind off of all of this thoughts and worries but whenever I finish all the thoughts come right back and put me in the position I was in earlier. Does all I'm saying even make sense? Is it cancer? I know you guys can't diagnose me over the internet but I need some ease. I don't know what to do anymore I'm trapped in a ball of depression and confusion and don't know if whether or not I'll ever escape.  :( I notice every single sensation in my body. A random pain in the right side of my head? Cancer. Tingling feeling in my arm? Cancer. I understand how irrational my mind is and I tell myself that everyday. "You're being irrational and all of this is just silly". But still it doesn't solve my problems. I'm scared of going to the doctor because I've convinced myself already I'm dying so what's the point? My eyes feel heavy, tired, and sore and I link that all with melanoma. I try not to google but it's the only thing that gives me ease since no one else around me will help me because they don't know how to. Sometimes googling will help me but lately it has been making me worse. I'm so sore everywhere and I can't blame anything else but cancer because my mind is ridiculous. "What if it's actually cancer and what if you're actually going to die?" That's what plays in my mind 24/7 through out the day. I need to talk to someone or get my health settled in order for me to actually feel happiness. But I don't know if I will feel happiness when I leave that doctor's office. What if they say I actually have to get so and so checked out because it could be serious? I would honestly collapse I could not handle that. I don't know what to do anymore  :traurig001:
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Offline halesy

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Re: Don't know what to do anymore
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2014, 11:13:12 PM »
We're all going through the same thing, KevinMcGovern :) I have good days and bad too. Lately they've all been good though, and you know why? I confided in my doctor, had some tests done, and was assured that all of my symptoms were anxiety. (and just so you know, I had every symptom you mentioned in your post.)
The only way you can start to get better is if you talk to someone. Finding a doctor that can work with you through your anxiety is important. They might want to start you on some meds... I personally refused any, but i have a small prescription in case of panic attacks. They can also refer you to therapy. I do group therapy which really helps change the way i think and improve my mood :) but honestly, the best thing you can do is just tell your doctor your symptoms. They'll probably just opt for some simple blood tests and if that's normal, it means you're fine, BELIEVE them and TRUST them, they are professionals and know when something is a sign of cancer. I have a HORRIBLE cancer phobia and agree with you, if i ever got a bad diagnosis i don't know what i'd do. But after plenty of assurance from my doctor and some clean tests i can feel confident (or, as confident as an HA sufferer can be, lol) that  for now, what i'm experiencing is anxiety. It's a process. But we're all in the same boat here :) Please try and take some steps in the direction of learning to deal with this.

all the best to you.
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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Offline owlya

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Re: Don't know what to do anymore
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2014, 09:15:55 AM »
Hello! I've read your post and I'm probably the worst person to try to help someone in this situation, because I'm constatly obsessing about that too. One thing I do know and can tell you is that cancer does not hurt. Not like that anyway, you would never feel it "spreading". I'm not a doctor, but that is not how it works. It doesn't hurt. If it did, everyone would get it checked up on time. Don't you think?  And the symptoms you described are so "random" that I don't believe they can be connected to something specific or serious. It most likely is your anxiety and stress. But the best thing you can do is go to the doctor and ask for some check ups. So you'd feel better. And I believe you will! You play football, you have strenght, that must mean you're healthy. When people have serious conditions they feel tired all the time. I hope this helps! Try to cheer up and relax :) I'm trying too myself! Feeling helpless as well...Health anxiety sucks...
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Offline KevinMcGovern

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Re: Don't know what to do anymore
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2014, 12:59:33 PM »
Believe me anything helps. Any type of reassurance is helpful to me it doesn't matter if you're a doctor or not. I really appreciate the help everyone thank you!!
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