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Offline TonyGuy

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Hi guys
« on: February 28, 2014, 08:50:05 AM »
I'm from London, my names Tony and I'm 28. I think its been roughly a year since I realized I have some serious issues. I have a very busy day to day, I'm a single parent, so I have school runs and work then more school runs. I found this website whilst looking for physical anxiety related symptoms. I have always been a worrier, I have always had sleep issues because I find it hard to power down as my minds always racing with any number of things. In the last 3 years I have had more ups and downs than the rest of my life combined and as a result I developed the mind set that things won't stay good for long, I'm always expecting something to crop up that will shake up my world again. I have a triangle of issues that very effectively prevent me from getting better. So the first issue is anxiety, I find that there isn't a moment when I'm not busy that my mind isn't worried about something, on top of that its health related anxiety so I'm always watching for symptoms and fixate on every lump or bump, ache or pain until the pain is worse. The internet can attribute any symptom to any serious illness, 'Oh you have aches, calves itchy? Leukemia! oh your tired a lot? Cancer! A rash, grey coating on your tongue? HIV!' So I see these and then go into panic mode. Then the second issue I have is that I have an absolute unflinching physical phobia of hospitals and doctors in fact anything in the medical field. I have not been to the doctors since I was 12-13, I'm not even registered with one. I was at both my kids births but even walking into the hospital for that was hard, I get shaky and light headed at the thought of having to go, I avoid anything illness related and resort to internet diagnosis in my darkest moments and that is even hard for me. My family cannot comprehend the very real issue I have with even considering phoning to register at a doctors surgery, even taking my kids for shots or check ups is something I can't do alone. Lately I feel I have absolutely nowhere to turn and it seems to be getting worse to the point I'm anxious in my sleep and wake up feeling drained and on a panic attack come down and its starting to effect my personal life. For the most part very few people are aware I feel this way. My children's mother had an anxiety disorder where she felt anxious and didn't know why, her GP prescribed her mood stabilizers, I watched her spin out of control and rely on these tablets for a few hours of normality every day and watched the severe bouts of depression that destroyed her. I can't afford to rely on a tablet to be someone I'm not, I feel that I'm looking for help everywhere but the only advice anyone can offer is a trip to the GP, so the only solution that I can see is something that I am irrationally physically terrified of, the fear isn't mental, I can't think where it might stem from as I was a very clumsy kid and spent my fair share of time in and out of hospitals, the fear is deeply physical. If anyone has any experience with anything I have mentioned I'd really appreciate any advice you may have. If you got this far thanks for reading :)
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Hi guys
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2014, 01:10:09 PM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline Tld.

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Re: Hi guys
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2014, 02:44:49 PM »
Hi Tony,  welcome!I live not too far from london.

Im sorry you're struggling so much.
I don't have much experience of the hospitals thing, but I have seen people here that have and have got past it. Dont lose hope.
I find most of my comfort and help in the chat room, everyone is lovely and willing to listen.  Hope to see you there soon, take care.
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