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Author Topic: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!  (Read 240 times)

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Offline Hadit

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Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« on: February 28, 2014, 07:02:47 AM »
Hello All-

I'm new here. I've been reading the many posts and for a quick second I tend to feel ok then am back to my old self. Worrying and crying and not being able to function.

My story is long but will def try to make it short. I am 43 yrs old and suffer with severe HA on and off always brought on by symptoms, google, you know how it goes.

About 20 years ago, I started getting some heavy duty pain kinda along my arms. Not necessarily in the armpits. I would feel to see what was going on. Never felt anything other than what I Blv are to be lymph nodes. None swollen, just tiny bumps. I was terrified that I was absolutely dying and the fear of hearing my doctor say it was too great. So I basically dealt with the pain that would come on and go. During this time, I would notice small pink purple dots on my arms where the pain was. Oddly enough my husband had some too so I dismissed the dots that would come go and go.

Fast forward 20 years, here I am still feeling the same discomfort on the arms except that now I have a lymph node on my abdomens, one a few inches above my wrist and one on my side.

Have bad blood work, mammograms, went for an endoscopy bcz my stomach hasn't been right. Had my doctor look at them 3 times. Have had pelvic sonograms, colonoscopies and no one seems to be concerned.

I'm at a point, where I can't think straight. Can't care for my family. Everyone around me is suffering.

I also have had chills on and off. No night sweats. Lethargy but I'm also anemic and have very low iron.

I'm scared to death. Would I be very sick 20 yrs later if it were something deathly like lymphoma or leukemia?  That's what everyone keeps telling me. Also, the lymph nodes that I can now feel have surfaced within the past year or so.

I know that you can all understand where I'm coming from and hope someone can relate to me. I may have the dermatologist check the one on my arm today but I'm terrified that he will want to biopsy it.

Thank you all!
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Offline msgb98

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Re: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2014, 08:54:02 PM »
My sister had Lymphoma. She had drenching night sweats and she was not in perimenopause or menopause. She barely has reached that age now.
I think that if it was a difference of 20 yrs your doctors would have stated something to you.
Perhaps you are of the age where perimenopause or menopause have come into your life. I have found out that it can start as young as  late 30's nd mid 40's is the actual time line and it can go on for about 7-10 years. I have friends who have been in menopause for a bit too and still have a bit of night sweats.
My sister states that the night sweats for a cancer patient are usually drenching.
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Offline anagargano

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Re: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2014, 09:41:52 PM »
I can understand how u feel ....its terrible to be obsessed with your symptoms and you can think of nothing else....and you feel like you are neglecting your family.....after 20 years of the same type of symptoms I would think that whatever it is that is happening to you isnt life threatening....what do you really think logically ?
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Offline marc

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Re: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2014, 09:50:06 PM »
-Welcome to anxietyzone. My daughters friend had Hodgkins lymphoma at age 19, 5-6 years ago.
He had severe joint pain and extreme weight loss, He was diagnosed at stage 4 and is fine now
after treatment.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Hadit

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Re: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2014, 08:22:59 AM »
I can't get past this one. I was able to move past colon cancer, liver cancer, HIV but bcz I am experiencing these "real" symptoms, I'm stuck here. I also have a slightly raised bruised on my upper back that has been there for months. My nausea is pretty bad. Had an endoscopy and was told I have h pylori. I called my doctor day and nite for the results.

My child suffers every day seeing me this way. It's gotten to a point where I just can't get past this bcz in my mind, this time it's for "real".

Saw my doctor 3 times this week. During the 3rd visit, I believe her patience with me were just about done. I told her that I fear lymphoma and she said assured me that my blood tests would not be what they are. Granted 3 years ago, my lymphocites and some other things were completely off.

My red blood count is also off. Every time. That's from my anemia but it can be from other things too.

I'm scared out of my mind. When did this get so bad!!!!

I just try to tell myself that if it were lymphoma, I would be very ill 20 years later. Not even sure this is true!

Can't even get through 10 min of a day, let alone an entire day!

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Offline Hadit

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Re: Scared to death of lymphoma pls help!!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2014, 11:00:08 AM »
Anagargano, That's the only thing that keeps me going. I would imagine that after all this time, my symptoms would worsen and not stay the same?! So after seeing my doctor for the 3rd time this week, she was more than upset with me and is sending me for a specific blood test to check for lymphoma/leukemia. Of course my immediate thought was but she said my blood tests were all fine so why are we now checking for something she said I did not have. I'm terrified to have this test as you can imagine and I'm not so sure I will. Getting a result that I am dying and going to leave my child and husband and family isn't something I can phathom. What can I do here!! I'm sitting here in a ball ready to plan my funeral.
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