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Author Topic: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia  (Read 282 times)

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Offline Alphaba79

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Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« on: February 25, 2014, 05:04:41 PM »
Anyone else have a horrible fear of pregnancy?

I literally have nightmares of becoming pregnant and/or giving birth at least once a week. The phobia is so severe that my husband and I use 3 methods of BC at once (mini-pill, condoms, and sponge) but I'm still fearful of becoming pregnant since I fixate on the fact that even with 3 methods, there is still a possibility of all failing and winding up with an unplanned pregnancy.

I already know that I do not ever want to become pregnant so it's not an issue of me wishing to become pregnant and overcoming my phobia. My husband and I have already agreed that adoption is the way to go if we want to become parents. It's more of an issue of it becoming a fixation and interfering with the intimacy between my husband and I.

The thought of having a developing fetus stretch and disfigure my body terrifies me, not to mention the vaginal tearing associated with giving birth. I am shaking and feeling nauseated just writing about it. I've heard horrible stories of women having their ribs broken by a strong kick from an unborn baby.  :sprachlos020:

I don't hate children and I don't find other pregnant women terrifying. Just the thought of me pregnant is the issue and the fear of potentially becoming pregnant.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2014, 05:53:16 AM »
I'm male, so wouldn't have this fear at all. The thing is, with such a fear, you may begin to pair anxiety up sex. As that is how people become pregnant. I think we already knew that last part. But that would be the one major fear I could see happening for a person with a fear like your own. It is not a nice fear to develop. If you do pair anxiety and sex up that is. So I think I would be seeking out some form of therapy. To try and figure out how you can get around your original fear. So it doesn't develop into something much bigger. No doubt you want to still be able to enjoy sex. But with your fear it could become the big demon somewhere along the road. Hence if you get help early on you can learn to put a stop to your fear and continue to enjoy things. Without any fears at all. So look into therapy. It might be well worth it.
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Offline natp89

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Re: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2014, 09:02:36 PM »
Hi. I too had this phobia well I was scared to get pregnant because I thought my body could not handle it. I was scared of my stomach streaching and scared it would hurt. And than I became pregnant and at first I was so scared but I was fine.. well now I amscared to get pregnant again because with my son I hemorrhaged so im scared of I get pregnant I wont be able to make it trough labor im scared I will need a csetion because I have a fear of going into surgery. Im scared of alot of things :/
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Offline bluecanary

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Re: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2014, 11:50:18 AM »
I realize that anxiety isn't a thing you can battle with logic, but if you're using not one, not two, but three different methods of contraception (and using them all correctly, of course), it's virtually impossible that you'll get pregnant. Even with only one method, if you're using it correctly, the odds are pretty low. Have you talked to your doctor about having an IUD implanted, or if you don't ever plan on getting pregnant at all, getting surgery for either you or your husband that will offer a more permanent fix?
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Offline Alphaba79

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Re: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2014, 08:54:12 AM »
I've talked to my doctor about an IUD, I'm leaning toward Paraguard since it's hormone free. However several of my friends have been trying to talk me out of getting one. One friend claims she lost a friend at a very young age due to a blot clot caused by an IUD. I have never heard of blood clots being linked to IUDs but she swears that's what her friend was using. I'm a little nervous about the IUD itself falling out. I know myself and my level of fears over this and I would probably continue to use back up methods for my own peace of mind.

As for sterilization, if only we could find a doctor who would do it for us! My husband and I are both in our mid 20s and doctors stubbornly refuse to do it for us because of our age and that we have no children. It's very frustrating when someone else thinks they know you better than you know yourself!

I keep hearing these stories about women who claim to use their BC correctly and still wind up pregnant! I set my alarm and take my pill like clockwork every day, yet am still paranoid.
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Offline terriberryfuller

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Re: Fear of pregnancy, Tokophobia
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2014, 10:13:00 PM »
YES! I am super afraid to have a child. Would I like to be a mother? SURE! But do I want to give birth to a child? Nope! Mainly, because I am scared that I will die during child birth, etc. Or have bad complications with the pregnancy. I just cannot do it - therefore, I am not cut out for it. So, I totally understand where you're coming from!
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