i'm sorry you're so scared. i was too. i just had one on monday. i was having a tenderness in one area, diarrhea, weight loss(no blood, but still other symptoms)not to mention polpys 6 years ago and a history of breast cancer(myself). so i get it. but, i just had mine and they only found a pre-cancerous polyp. so, those symptoms weren't from that!! it was small and not even near the area of my tenderness!
anyway, it's scary. but, you can do it. you must. then whatever the outcome, you will move forward. that is better than the deer in headlights reaction that our anxiety tends to cause.
i had a split dose prep. miralax/gatorade. drank half at 3pm then the other half at 3am(my procedure was at 9a). i also had the dr give me an antinausea drug, so i took that about an hour before i began drinking it. it really helped. the zofran and splitting it helped me keep it down, and i didn't throw it up this time. also, i did a lot of desitin, prep h, and charmin wipes, and i didn't have it too bad at that end either. the prep seemed much more tolerable this time around.
eat light today, it will make it easier.