I have no idea where it came from, but for a few weeks now, I've been dealing with a serious fear of the future. It seems like there are two sides of me: the side that is anxious and fearful and can't even plan events that I should be excited about, like going to try on wedding dresses and looking at potential houses; but then there is a normal, no anxious side of me that realizes that these fears are unfounded. I AM excited for my future and I know it'll be great (amazing fiancÚ, amazing family and friends, etc.). I just can't picture it right now and I know that's okay because it's uncertain.
The thing is, I cannot get over the fearfulness. Anxiety tricks me into believing that I won't be able to handle everyday stuff or a "real" job because I don't have one yet and have no idea what I want to do in that arena of life (funny since I've gone to college for almost 6 years now and already have one degree). I feel like I've lost a little of my optimism and approach everything with an anxious state of mind instead of a clear or unbiased mind. It's so frustrating! But I know I can get out of this because there are times during the day that I don't feel anxious at all, especially when I'm around my friends or family, at my current part time job, or in class/social situations. When I'm alone with my thoughts, it's the worst! I feel so different from normal people in those times and it's scary.
Part of it comes from having a bit of derealization for the past few weeks. I get a very unfamiliar feeling even when I'm in my own house and it fuels my anxiety and negative thinking, which I then project into my future as, "Well if I feel like this now under just a little stress, how am I going to feel when I actually have all these changes happen in my life or when I have to move out of my parents house for the first time, etc.?!"
I want so badly to be excited for these changes and my future in general, but anxiety is tricking me into being a scared little girl. I just want to know how to fix this and if there are any exercises I can do to reverse my thinking. I want to get back to the optimistic, happy-go-lucky girl that I used to be, because I know she's in there deep down! Any advice on how to deal with this issue is greatly appreciated!