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Author Topic: Trying to be Vulnerable..  (Read 212 times)

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Offline SongBird10

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Trying to be Vulnerable..
« on: February 22, 2014, 10:49:26 PM »
Hey All,

So I have been on medicine for like two weeks now for my anxiety and depression. I have been in therapy for I think over a year now or coming to a year this spring. Well last session we talked about trying to make connections with people, being open, and being vulnerable with the people around me. I have such a hard time with this. I only tell some people some things, not one person knows everything. I have the hardest time trust people. "Once bitten, twice shy". I have been burned and rejected in the past and honestly sometimes its easier to just not put myself out there then to put it all out there and get rejected. I have been told time and time again to just be myself and put my self out there and that is the most frustrating thing to hear. I have been hiding portions of my life for so long I don't even remember what all is hidden, it certainly doesn't help that I have felt like an alien since the anxiety and depression got really bad. I forgot who I was and I don't remember or even know who I'm going to be when I come out of this. Will I feel the same way? Will I be a different person? Will I even feel better when I come out of this? I don't even have the answers and that drives me nuts. But the thought of being vulnerable with people just scares the hell out of me, which leaves me lonely and feeling alone. It is an all around scary thing for me. Not only that but its frustrating and I don't even know where to start. I'm not sure how to start being open and being myself and putting myself out there. Its not really in my nature, and I don't like the feeling.

I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels this way?

~SongBird  :action-smiley-065:
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"Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul."

Offline Leo99

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Re: Trying to be Vulnerable..
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2014, 10:21:19 AM »
 :action-smiley-065:

I was almost extremely introverted in the past. I was the one to listen to others and help the best I could but refused to share...myself. When anxiety and depression first hit me hard, I decided to change my ways. I had to talk about my fears otherwise they'd suffocate me. And funny, I discovered putting 'things' out there did not 'kill' or harm me. I guess true vulnerability is not other people knowing stuff about you. Us being all alone with our doubts, fears, wants, dreams...that's the true vulnerability. Cus they cannot be reflected in the mirror other people are to us, so we stand alone. Doubting it all. Doubting ourselves.
Coming out of depression/anxiety, we're never the people we once were, in my opinion. It's a hard experience, life changing experience. As horrible as it can be, it shows us to appreciate life wonders and makes us stronger.

Not sure if this was helpful but that's how I see it. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
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