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Author Topic: Scary symptoms  (Read 311 times)

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Offline Lo213

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Scary symptoms
« on: February 20, 2014, 08:46:19 PM »
On my way to work this morning I was really short of breath and my left arm hurt real bad. While getting ready to open the store I thought for sure that this was it and I would die any second. As the shift went on I gradually felt better. Now I'm trying to relax in bed and it's back. Also my jaw and shoulders hurt.

I'm so tired of feeling so anxious all of the time. I have three journals full of page after page of what on paper looks like the same symptoms and worries. But it doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't make me confident that my current symptoms aren't real. When I try to challenge my fears with the HA workbook I get to the question 'what's the worst that could happen if your fear comes true?' (It might be worded differently) my answer is that I could die, so that's not comforting or anxiety reducing at all.

This sucks so much. I don't see an end in sight. I feel likes should go get checked out since I'm going to be home alone without a car with my baby for 12 hours tomorrow. Which is probably part of why I'm anxious. And it doesn't help that my heart rate has been high all day. This is probably because of being pregnant, but the accompanying pains make me worry. I feel like it's the perfect time for heart issues to show up since your heart has to work so much harder during pregnancy.

I know there's nothing anyone can say to make me feel better. And if I go to the ER I'll doubt them no matter what. I've come to realize that only I can fix it, and I'm not having any luck. I have a hard time believing that my body is creating these symptoms just because I'm worrying about them.
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Offline HayMichele28

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Re: Scary symptoms
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2014, 01:05:53 AM »
You sound exactly like me.  I worry all the time that there is something wrong with my heart.  Maybe it is all the heart conditions that run in my family.  However, I get extreme pains in my left side of my chest.  Sometimes unbearable and i just cry and cry for some relief because it hurts so bad.  Its like a pressure, a heaviness, like something is twisting inside there, sometimes numb, and tingling.  It creeps up into my left shoulder and in my armpit.  I have that thought a lot that this is the end of me i am going to drop dead right here.  I got shortness of breath and I think I am unable to breath anymore (cuz I'm dying).  When I am somewhere like you said you were at work I will start to settle in and feel more comfortable in my surroundings the longer I am there.  However, as soon as i lay down at night it all comes rushing back.  Its like my brain goes something is missing.... what happened to those pains from earlier.  Then they start all up again.  Night time and anytime that i try and relax are the worst times for me.  I always have the same symptoms but that doesnt mean they ever get less scarey. I feel like they will never end also.  However, my aunt had super bad panic attacks and she hasnt had one in years now so I am hopeful!  I know it is hard to believe that stress and anxiety can do this to your body but it really can do some wicked and weird things.
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Offline clippergoodwill

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Re: Scary symptoms
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2014, 03:47:55 AM »
I can't say I know exactly how you feel, being a guy, but I experience similar moments. I know that what I have is anxiety. I've had numerous blood tests,cat scan, mri, etc., and it all came back clear. But still, every now and then I'll get anxious, heart palps will kick up, the random pains will start, and I'll start doubting everything. I consider myself decent at self control, but it still takes all I can do to calm down.
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Offline Lo213

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Re: Scary symptoms
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2014, 06:51:26 AM »
Part of my problem is that I don't trust doctors. When I was 15 I started having lots of stomach problems after my grandfather died. My mom took me to a dr who completely dismissed me and said it was 'just' anxiety. It got worse and I could hardly eat was crying in pain every day. Went back to the dr. Dismissed again. Finally my mom took me to another dr who found an ulcer.  I can't help but feel like the first dr should have a) treated the anxiety and b) considered that there could be something physical going on with my stomach.

I lived through the night, as usual, but now I'm awake in pain and in fear. It's not even 7am yet. I want to make my husband take me to the ER. But he's already mad at me because last night I tried to tell him that I was feeling depressed to the point that I don't want to have this baby and how sometimes I wish we didn't have our son. I told him how depressed it makes me that I can't enjoy my family because in the back of my mind I'm so scared and worried. It's like I'm never really 'there', I'm just watching him and our baby have fun while I feel sad, alone, & doomed. He doesn't understand depression and took it all personally. Now he's not speaking to me.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Scary symptoms
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2014, 07:40:34 AM »
First I want to say that a relative has had serious anxiety all her life. She will soon be 92. So not much fear of heart giving out. She's been to the ER with presumed heart attacks also.

You have a job (which many others wish they had), have a sweet, innocent child who deserves to be loved, you have a husband who is not abandoning you. We can't expect our spouse to be our shrink. In your journal why not try to think of all that is good and positive about you thus learning to like and love yourself. The attention you need from others is possible as a gift you give to yourself. You can do it.
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