Yep, Ian I wish we had a system here in the good ole US of A that would let me do that or something similar, but the only hospitals one could get into here for these kinds of issues are not the kinds of places that are filled with caring and considerate staff. Now if I was a millionaire and didn't need to worry about insurance (and mine is good by US standards) there might be such a place, but not anything that my insurance would cover.
I am very slowly inching up the remeron, literally the bigger half a pill and a crumb, I want to avoid what happened when I tried to take 15 mg at once. Sleep was still not great yesterday, and I felt pretty awful this morning but still managed to get thru work, and felt better by the end of the day. I did bite off maybe a third or more of a 10 mg propranolol pill this morning since I woke up with bp on the high side and a pulse of 100, I think it helped a little bit, and it wasn't enough to zonk me or anything like that. I have to say that although pamelor was the med that first worked for me, it was not my favorite and I didn't like the fast heart rate and orthostatic effects on my bp with it, and it tended to make me angrier if I had cause to be angry. I tried during my initial attack way back to get on some of the other TCAs but I never could get high enough, I did have significant anxiety and weird issues with them. It took more klonopin to make the pamelor transition successful with a different doc when I came home from college back then. In my worst moments I fear that nothing is going to work, but then I remember I have had good days, and that time and external factors can affect this too, and maybe at some point it just kind of simmers down for a while. Its just not been as simple as before, but I just have to persevere. I did eat more for dinner today, so that may be a good sign, usually I eat more when I feel better. Of course I will be careful if remeron makes me ravenous, but so far that is not an issue, maybe if it does at least I could get some quality sleep.
I have to say I am really mad at the makers of pristiq, they really need to let folks know if their pills can be cut without disturbing the time release mechanism. I suspect they can, its probably in a matrix of some sort, and a quick search of the net shows that people do do this, but it really is something the company should have researched or made statements on beforehand, since so many folks change antidepressants for many reasons, so surely they could have anticipated that people might have to discontinue their medication for whatever reasons. Anyways, I am in no rush if I can hold it together and avoid another overly anxious weekend.