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Author Topic: Feels like failure when I need the meds  (Read 212 times)

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Offline colorlessideas

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Feels like failure when I need the meds
« on: February 19, 2014, 04:59:04 PM »
My doctor has me take xanax when I feel things are out of control, like when I get heart palpitations or just feel trapped and helpless.
Sometimes I clearly need it, but then there are days like today where I feel panicky but wonder if maybe I could calm down if I only had the time to work through it.
I hate feeling like I'm using meds when I don't need to, but I also want to stop bad anxiety early enough before it ruins the whole day.
Anyone else ever struggle with something like this?
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Offline MobileChucko

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Re: Feels like failure when I need the meds
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2014, 07:29:51 PM »
Hi CI...

It is very common for people that deal with chronic conditions of anxiety, panic attacks, and/or depression, to feel that they should be capable of mentally controlling these conditions.  You may have heard of the old adage, "Just pull yourself up by the bootstraps!"  Actually, nothing could be further from the truth.

Would you ask a diabetic who is insulin dependent, to stop using their insulin?  Of course you wouldn't.  The same is true for those of us that suffer with anxiety/panic attacks/depression.  These conditions often times have an actually organic origin.  Stress hormones, such as cortisol, actually destroy brain cells in the hippocampus region of the brain.  Medications such as the anti-depressants, actually stimulate the growth of new brain cells in this region of the brain, thus restoring balance.

I have been on anti-depressants for four years now, and I plan on being on them for the rest of my life.  I am so grateful for living in a time when these medications are available, as it wasn't that long ago that they were not.

So do all you can, not to beat yourself up for taking a medication that is helping you.  Be thankful it's available to you.

The very best to you, CI!...  Chuck :grinning-smiley-003:
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: Feels like failure when I need the meds
« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2014, 07:36:08 PM »
Exactly as Chuck said.  You have an illness requires a change in the chemistry of your brain.  The medication does that for you.

I know exactly how you feel.  I've quit my SSRI twice because I felt like I needed to be stronger than the disease, to beat it.  I'm back on them now and will never go off.  I need them to be me.
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Feels like failure when I need the meds
« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2014, 07:48:03 PM »
I have the same exact thoughts pulsing through my mind right now and have been the entire day.. If I switch from my Klonopin (because I don't feel it's doing justice) to something shorter lived and "as needed" how do I interpret when as needed will be?

It's triggering me into a deep worrisome mindset right now. I feel like I don't know what to do and why I'm doing this to myself.

I appreciate reading your post and Chuck couldn't have placed it any better. I think we frown upon it the way society tends to... Just so many variables in this world... I can't wait for a better day...
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Offline colorlessideas

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Re: Feels like failure when I need the meds
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2014, 11:05:15 AM »
Thanks for the advice, guys. I think there is starting to be more understanding and sensitivity in our culture about mental health, but it is hard to get over the "shake if off" advice I always received growing up.

The "as needed" label gets to me sometimes because I hate that judgment call.
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Offline Jeff Longren

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Re: Feels like failure when I need the meds
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2014, 09:03:46 PM »
This is probably my most repeated mantra.  I hate having to take medications to feel like everyone else.  I hate that I seem to have developed an issue controlling myself and the way I view the world.

Then I remember that I have a mental illness, as valid as diabetes and a congenital heart defect.  As real as blindness, as important as cancer.  Its just not as easy to point to on a chart or test.
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"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." Anais Nin

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