So, about a month ago I woke up at 3am to find a huge (size of a grape), painful lymph node near my ear under my jaw. It was warm to the touch and very tender, but very hard and immobile.
I went to the doctor the next day and she thought it was a reaction to an infection. I was given a ten day course of antibiotics and told to come back if it wasn't smaller after ten days.
After ten days it was either not smaller or barely smaller, so I went back to the doctor. She scheduled me for an ultrasound.
The ultrasound results came back as a "complex cystic lesion." The size is 1.5 cm. The tech couldn't tell if it was in my parotid gland or my lymph node. They wanted me to have a follow-up CT scan--but I can't, because I'm currently pregnant. So my doctor first wanted to wait three months and then have another ultrasound, but then she decided to refer me to a surgeon for a consultation. The surgeon will decide whether or not he thinks its appropriate to do a biopsy. That appointment is in two weeks.
I googled the terms "complex cystic" (of course) and it all seemed like very bad news. Complex means containing solid parts. That's not good. I'm trying to tell myself not to jump to conclusions, especially since they don't even know if its a lymph node or parotid gland. But it sounds bad and I'm terrified.
The one thing I'm clinging to is that in the last couple weeks, it's gotten much smaller. It's more like a small marble instead of a grape now. But it doesn't hurt anymore, and it's very hard, which are both bad signs.
I don't know how I'm going to wait another two weeks for a consultation and then who knows how long after that for a biopsy, if I even get one. It's already been a whole month of appointments and tests and its been tortuous. Needless to say, it's put a damper on this pregnancy, which should be a happy time. The stress can't be good for the baby, either.
I have a three year old and am about to have a newborn as well. I can't have cancer. I need to be okay, for them.
I can't believe I just woke up one day with a huge lump in my neck out of nowhere, with no other symptoms, and now I might have lymphoma. I'm having a really hard time accepting this.