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Author Topic: Relationship Anxiety Disorder  (Read 342 times)

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Offline Seablue33

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Relationship Anxiety Disorder
« on: February 18, 2014, 12:31:21 PM »
Hello,

I believe I suffer from Relationship Anxiety Disorder and low self esteem. I have been dating this great guy for 3 months now but it seems like Im trying to sabotage our relationship. I started feeling very anxious and (nauseous and bad headaches) after 2 months. Been starting arguments over stupid small stuff, being negative, accusing, insecure, doubting. I keep asking for reassurance and repeat myself a lot and pressure him to do things I want him to do or pressure for him to tell me why! I'm afraid of losing him as he is the best boyfriend I've ever had but can't seem to stop feeling/acting this way. I feel so overwhelmed and feel like I have so many issues to fix! I'm also a sugar addict so I have been struggling with my weight ever since I was 16 and I am now 33. Anyone else out there with similar issues? Please help, I feel so hopeless...
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Relationship Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2014, 01:20:34 PM »
Oh, I can relate to much of this. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and it is a struggle not to act that way in all of my relationships.

The thing that helps me most in my relationship, which I have been in for over three years now, is remembering that my boyfriend wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be. If he didn't think I was pretty, he wouldn't tell me that I'm pretty. If he wasn't attracted to me, he wouldn't have sex with me. And as a bigger girl, I can understand having some weight worries. But over time, I have come to absolutely adore my body! My boyfriend loves it, too, so I don't have to worry there.

What I would do if I were you is maybe look up some DBT skills. It has a focus on mindfulness and taking things as they are, not how we perceive them to be. That way, you begin to see the facts of situations, rather than your worries/insecurities. If there is, in fact, a problem, you learn to problem solve, not just react emotionally. There is also a module on interpersonal effectiveness, which would be very beneficial to you, I think. It is a long process to changing how we interact with other people, and especially how we think, but it is worth working on for both the happiness of ourselves and others. And if you're up to it, maybe try to figure out why you are feeling this way. You are not in any way, shape, or form hopeless. There are always ways we can get better.

If you need any help, always feel free to private message me! I'd be happy to share my own personal experience or methods I have learned in therapy. Or if you just need a random person to vent at, instead of your boyfriend.  :laugh3:
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Offline Seablue33

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Re: Relationship Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2014, 02:49:20 PM »
Brokenbone,

Thank you so much for your great advice. I have read a Borderline Personality Disorder book as I thought I had that as well but I didn't have all of the symptoms so Im not sure. How do I go about getting this module for DBT therapy? I was seeing a counselor for 2 years and although he was very helpful he never diagnosed me and it didn't seem to help me as I never learned how to cope with these issues.
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Offline brokenbone

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Re: Relationship Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2014, 03:59:58 PM »
I send you a private message, I hope that's okay!
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Offline Seablue33

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Re: Relationship Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2014, 03:50:22 PM »
No problem! I got it, thank you so much!
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