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Offline sg938

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Hello everyone!
« on: February 17, 2014, 04:26:24 PM »
Hi there :) I'm new to the site, just joined today so thought I'd say a little about myself and what has brought me here! I'm a 20 year old student from Glasgow and up until about a year and a half ago, you may have described me as a bubbly, extroverted and happy girl who loved nothing more than going out and having fun. However, this all changed, like I said about a year and a half ago.

I can't pinpoint exactly what started it, but slowly things have got to this point, what i'd call breaking point, where anxiety has completely taken over my life and made me loose who I am. Where my anxiety is most prominent is around relationships, mainly around those with certain close friends aswell as my boyfriend. My CPN described it as an irrational obsession about loosing people. On a daily basis I obsess over texts, phonecalls, the way people word things, and all other means of things when it comes to my interactions with the people I mentioned. A typical panic attack for me will begin when I see that one of my aforementioned friends/boyfriend has "seen" my message and then not replied, or when they text me with no "x's" or when they make a throwaway comment that I obsessively analyse and cant let go of. I have a certain group of people that I HAVE to speak to constantly throughout the day, otherwise I think that they want to drift from me/want me out of their lives. When it comes to certain friends I often get jealous when they are with other people and believe that they like them better than me. A typical thought that I obsess about is that I care about them a lot more than they care about me. I am blabbering on now but I hope you get the jist of it. Anyways up until recently, it was really only friends that I got this way about. However in the last few weeks my worries have started to get more prominent around my boyfriend. He knows all about my anxiety and has always been really supportive in the 6 months we've been together, however something has changed recently. He used to text me first thing every morning and we would chat throughout the day before calling at night (he stays in England so we only see one another every few weeks). Now though, he hardly texts me in the morning when he gets up for work and when I text him he often takes hours to reply and then texts me quite bluntly, not acting very interested. He has also started being quite snappy and when I seen him last weekend it felt like we spent the whole weekend in silence. This lead me to get upset and question him, to which he reassured me nothing was wrong and that nothing had changed between us, yet the situation still feels the same. As you can imagine this has thrown my anxiety into overdrive!

I have previously suffered with depression as well as the anxiety which has got worse in the last year. Since late 2012 I have been through the NHS and seen countless CPN's. I am currently on the waiting list to see psychology, however this is still around 8 weeks away. I have been to a&e 4 times in the last year due to my anxiety, the most recent being on the 12th January when I tried to *****. I have got to a stage now where I feel as if I have no-one, I don't have a "person" as I have realised that bombarding my close friends with my problems can be helpful at times but it is probably a big part of the reason I feel I am loosing them, im pushing them away. I could go on for hours about my problems but I'd really just love someone to relate to what I'm going through and feel less alone :( As well as the other things, the scariest thing about all of this is the feeling that I have lost the fun, outgoing person I was and the fear that she's never coming back.

S xxx
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2014, 02:27:04 AM »
Welcome to the boards,

I'm not too knowledge in depression or Obsession but it looks like it's effecting you as well as some anxiety issues as well. These can be troubling and also a big barrier to how we REALLY want to live our lives.

You will find help here, people who are going through exactly what you're going through. How is Scotland? Glasgow right?

Sounds that you have yourself well documented and that is good to have, answers to the mind is so hard to find. Post around and make yourself at home.

Glad to see you here. :action-smiley-065:
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Sometimes when I'm home alone, I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2014, 05:07:43 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline sg938

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2014, 01:58:25 PM »
Thanks potatoes! Scotland is not too bad, minus the bad weather as always haha! Hope you are all good too :) thanks for your reply, looking forward to getting more involved in the site. Thanks also, cuchculan, some useful info :)

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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2014, 03:47:59 PM »
I've seen that you have made 2 more posts aside from your introduction, do you feel you're touching base with some people? It takes a little bit to get going, it took me a few days to adapt to the responses and know what to do to get the information I need, as this is a HUGE communit yof people.

If you ever need any help don't hesitate to ask. Sorry to hear about the bad weather, we had a couple days of snow but it's all sunshine and clear days. I'm wearing shorts and a T shirt at college but it's a bit cold and I"m quickly regretting it.  :sick0002:
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Sometimes when I'm home alone, I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Offline sg938

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2014, 04:02:58 PM »
Yeah, I just replied to a voting thing which asked the average age of users. Not really had a chance to reply properly to any posts yet, just trying to feel my way around the site for now. It's nice to have replies to this post so quickly though, I didn't really know how that would work!

Yeah you're right, I never anticipated there would be so many people here, its nice to see so many people helping each other and sharing experiences :)

Thanks very much, same to you! Aww I am very jealous of the sun, what I would give for a bit of sunshine!! Which part of the states are you in? :)
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2014, 04:40:52 PM »
It's good to get comfortable, Don't hesitate to post around.


and Idaho. you?
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Sometimes when I'm home alone, I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Offline sg938

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2014, 05:10:30 PM »
Yeah I will do! Thanks :)

Cool! I'm in Glasgow, scotland
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