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Author Topic: Growing up is scary!  (Read 155 times)

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Offline SummerSun41

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Growing up is scary!
« on: February 16, 2014, 11:46:38 PM »
I know this isn't totally GAD-related, but it definitely plays a part in it so that's why I'm posting it here. Plus I don't feel comfortable talking about it with any of my friends because they seem to embrace all the things I'm about to discuss.

To put it simply: growing up scares me. I'm not sure how or why or where it came from, but it's become increasingly evident in the past few months. I've had GAD for about a year now, and before that, I lived a perfectly fine, fun, carefree, happy life. Since then, I realized my dreams of going to physical therapy school weren't right for me, and I changed my career choice after graduating college. Since my bachelor's was only going to be used as a means to get into PT school, it's quite useless (no jobs in the field in my area) so now I'm back in school for another degree that I'm not in love with either. I've decided that after this semester, I'm not going to go anymore. Ive been in school so long that I've lost all motivation to do my schoolwork and it's effecting my grades. I actually look forward to going to my part time job because I'm making money and it keeps my mind off all my worries. I'd rather just get a real job and make money like most other people my age.

But- that brings me to my next point- getting a real job and having "adult size" responsibilities scares me. I'm engaged and planning a wedding for 2015, so I'm also looking at houses with my fiancé and talking about all kinds of future-related issues like where we should live, what kind of house, how much we can afford, etc. I think I've figured out where some of the fears come from: being a bit spoiled by my parents who I've always lived with and my father is very overprotective and too attached to me and my sisters; and having GAD with some scary Pure O obsessions and mental checking ("Am I feeling the right way for this situation?) and derealization/not feeling comfortable in unfamiliar places. I'm afraid that if we move too far away from the area we both live in now, that I'll get extremely anxious and always have that "derealized" feeling. I'll be alone in the evenings and night in a new house, and that terrifies me. And what if I can't handle regular daily responsibilities like keeping up with laundry and dishes and bills and stuff like that?

How can I deal with all this? Has anyone felt similarly? I know in the back of my mind that it's all a bit ridiculous and everyone was probably nervous about it, and I know that I'll be fine because I have a huge support system that I know will be there for me whatever happens, but my anxiety side of me cannot let these fears go! Someone please talk some sense into me! :laugh3:
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Offline BrookeAshley1

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Re: Growing up is scary!
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2014, 11:54:13 PM »
You're not alone in how you feel. Growing up is overwhelming!!

It sounds like you have some huge life changes coming up. Congrats on the engagement! Also looking into homes is a big step! Its normal to feel stressed about this stuff. The key is to not let the anxiety about it ruin the experience. I know, easier said than done! Try to take it day to day. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a breather and start again the next day. These are all huge responsibilities but at the same time they're all joyful occasions!

As far as schooling and jobs go, I was in the same boat as you, and probably still am. I couldn't figure out what degree I wanted to go for. I started in business and then hated it and wanted to change. I ended up taking a break from school that lasted longer than I intended. Now I'm older and know more about what I want in life. I think it'll come to you in time... that brings me to another point... just cause we grow up doesn't mean we have to know everything. We are still on a journey and we still change our minds and learn. So try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to not have all the answers about what you want for school. And its okay to be nervous about changes.. the key is to keep pressing forward!!

Good luck to you :)
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Giving up is always an option, but it is never my choice.

Offline SuperCalmmm

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Re: Growing up is scary!
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2014, 04:12:47 PM »
First and foremost, Congratulations! This is such a happy time!

I was in the same boat a year ago… got married this past August -  moved out of my family's home (where I grew up my whole life, and like you, was spoiled by my parents - never had to cook a meal, do my own laundry, none of that!), and moved in with my husband. We bought a brand new house, and I was petrified of all the grown up responsibilities… Trust me, it is DEFINITELY nerve-wracking, but exciting at the same time!  You will fall into your role as "adult" and soon all of those chores will become second nature to you. Your husband will probably surprise you (mine did, he does dishes and laundry from time to time).. and even if he doesn't, you can always ask him for help. My biggest part is still the cooking, as I have not yet mastered it! I don't love trying to be creative with meal ideas either, feel like Im always cooking chicken. My point in this rant…. is just to let you know that you aren't alone! That these huge life changes are scary -- but also very positive. Try to focus on the good. You will be fine  :yes:
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Offline SummerSun41

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Re: Growing up is scary!
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2014, 04:56:34 PM »
Thank you both for the reassurance! It really helps so much to know I'm not alone. I'm so excited for these events and most of the time, I don't let my anxiety interfere. But your words & advice helps so much. Thanks again :)
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Offline SuperCalmmm

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Re: Growing up is scary!
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2014, 11:02:19 PM »
Anytime… enjoy the wedding planning!!!   :nature-smiley-016:
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