I know this isn't totally GAD-related, but it definitely plays a part in it so that's why I'm posting it here. Plus I don't feel comfortable talking about it with any of my friends because they seem to embrace all the things I'm about to discuss.
To put it simply: growing up scares me. I'm not sure how or why or where it came from, but it's become increasingly evident in the past few months. I've had GAD for about a year now, and before that, I lived a perfectly fine, fun, carefree, happy life. Since then, I realized my dreams of going to physical therapy school weren't right for me, and I changed my career choice after graduating college. Since my bachelor's was only going to be used as a means to get into PT school, it's quite useless (no jobs in the field in my area) so now I'm back in school for another degree that I'm not in love with either. I've decided that after this semester, I'm not going to go anymore. Ive been in school so long that I've lost all motivation to do my schoolwork and it's effecting my grades. I actually look forward to going to my part time job because I'm making money and it keeps my mind off all my worries. I'd rather just get a real job and make money like most other people my age.
But- that brings me to my next point- getting a real job and having "adult size" responsibilities scares me. I'm engaged and planning a wedding for 2015, so I'm also looking at houses with my fiancé and talking about all kinds of future-related issues like where we should live, what kind of house, how much we can afford, etc. I think I've figured out where some of the fears come from: being a bit spoiled by my parents who I've always lived with and my father is very overprotective and too attached to me and my sisters; and having GAD with some scary Pure O obsessions and mental checking ("Am I feeling the right way for this situation?) and derealization/not feeling comfortable in unfamiliar places. I'm afraid that if we move too far away from the area we both live in now, that I'll get extremely anxious and always have that "derealized" feeling. I'll be alone in the evenings and night in a new house, and that terrifies me. And what if I can't handle regular daily responsibilities like keeping up with laundry and dishes and bills and stuff like that?
How can I deal with all this? Has anyone felt similarly? I know in the back of my mind that it's all a bit ridiculous and everyone was probably nervous about it, and I know that I'll be fine because I have a huge support system that I know will be there for me whatever happens, but my anxiety side of me cannot let these fears go! Someone please talk some sense into me!