After reading a certain topic on here this morning - I've had a lot of trouble not thinking about it. I've been questioning myself and my own symptoms and wondering if they could be related to what I read this morning. Even though that particular topic has never been a fear of mine and I've never thought about the symptoms before. It's caused me to almost go into a new cycle of uncertainty, but before I let that happen again I've come to a decision...
I've been spending a lot of time on here lately, sometimes asking questions of my own - but mostly trying to help reassure others and its gotten to the point where I've learned things about health that, as a hypochondriac, I probably shouldn't know.
A lot of the fears that I've had over the past year and a half - MS, ALS, Kidney failure, memory problems etc etc etc ETC. I have learned the symptoms of on this board. I've had health anxiety for the best part of 15 years, even though it was only in the past few years I realised what it was. It isn't worth the drama anymore. I want to get over this once and for all and I don't want to learn anything more about which symptoms could mean which disease.
I'm over it. It's time to change.
The only way for me to do that (for any of us to do that) is to change my attitude and the way I deal with my thoughts, fears and uncertainties.
I realised it isn't good for me to be spending so much time thinking about my, and other people's health and coming on here reading about symptoms and the fears people have which, as you all know can be contagious.
It made me realise. I need to take a step back and stop coming on here for a while. I will try to stop thinking about health altogether and try to just live for a bit.
The main reason I've been coming on here is to try and find the rare but valuable nuggets of info people sometimes put up to help others overcome their fears. But those have been few and far between lately and sometimes coming on here can do more harm to my progress than good.
I'm sure I will probably be back at the first sign of my next fear, but for now I'm going to take some time off to get a little perspective.
Do I WANT to have health anxiety forever? No, I don't.
So I should stop making it such a huge part of my life. I should stop coming on here altogether for a while and see if I can get over this plateau I've been stuck on. And remove the option of running to this board at the first sign of a symptom and just break the reassurance cycle completely.
Sorry for the rant - I just thought maybe this might help someone is some way :)
I wish you all great health and peace of mind :)