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Author Topic: Anxiety...it's baaaaack!  (Read 137 times)

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Offline PlainJayne

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Anxiety...it's baaaaack!
« on: February 15, 2014, 08:04:04 PM »
I am new to the forums, but old hand at the anxiety game, unfortunately.  I have been dealing with GAD, panic attacks and agoraphobia on and off for over 20 years.  Some of the things I have read here have touched me and made me feel a little less alone in this struggle.  I am very grateful for that.
I seem to go through periods of severe anxiety and depression.  I have been in therapy on and off for well over 20 years - sometimes I feel like it helps and other times, not so much. 
I suffered a pretty bad panic attack last week (had been experiencing anxiety for past month or so).  It lasted for over an hour and I took Klonopin - as prescribed - and eventually fell asleep.  I try the deep breathing techniques, the positive self-talk, but sometimes it just doesn't get through in that moment.  I do not like medication (have been on Lexapro 20mgs for 3 years), but have used Klonopin PRN, usually at night as it makes me too groggy during the day.  I have little faith in it and, after this last attack, found it useless.
I have had a support system in place for the past several years - therapist, pdoc, etc.  Feel like I have tried the breathing techniques, CBT - with no relief.  What am I doing wrong?!?  Saw the therapist this week - I seem to be hung up on what triggers these events and her theory is that the trigger isn't important - as I do understand sometimes there isn't a trigger.  I feel if I understand the trigger, then I can deal with it.  Needless to say, it was not a helpful session.  Have literally been anxious all week - ebbing and flowing - struggling to get to work in the morning.  Usually once there, I begin to feel better, but that hasn't been the case this week and the week ended feeling worse than ever.  Avoiding going other places.
I called pdoc - she was on vacation, so I spoke with someone else, who feels this is somehow hormonally related/triggered.  She decreased Lexapro to 10mg, added Abilify 2mg and changed me to Xanax PRN.  As most with anxiety, am petrified to change or try new meds and certainly don't want to become addicted to Xanax.  So desperate for some relief, I tried Xanax yesterday and was cautiously optimistic - felt better than I had all week, but am still afraid the panic will break through.  Actually started the Abilify this morning - spent the day in bed mostly, just paralyzed with fear about the fear.
A few questions, when going through several days of continuous anxiety, is it normal to have to try to "break" the cycle before feeling better?  Is the anxiety feeding off itself and just creating more anxiety?  Does that constant adrenalin surge have to be calmed before I feel better?  Will the Xanax help with this? Does anyone else go through days and days of anxiety - feeling like you want to run or just crawl out of your skin?  I can't remember this never-ending anxiety, but I'm sure it's been there before - just having a hard time focusing right now.
Also, anyone have any good experiences with Abilify?  Please, no negative experiences...can't cope with that right now.   :(
So sorry to dump this - but really need something to hang on to right now...please give me some hope.
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Online MobileChucko

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Re: Anxiety...it's baaaaack!
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2014, 11:43:33 AM »
Hi Jayne, and welcome to Anxiety Zone...  You are not alone here; you are among understanding and accepting friends.

I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, and some depression too.  It all started for me about four years ago.  Anti-depressants have worked well for me, but the Remeron I was on stopped working for me last Summer/Fall, and I went back to square one.

I have had 24/7 anxiety on more then one occasion, and lasting for weeks and weeks.  I know that paralyzing fear, in which I don't even want to move.  When I'm like that, I do try to break the cycle by doing simple, not overwhelming things.  It could just be brushing my teeth, or washing a single dish.  I try to focus and give myself credit for what I have done, not what hasn't been done.

Anxiety does most certainly feed off itself, and whatever you can do to divert your attention off the anxiety, do it.  It is your mind that is fueling your fight/flight response, so calming the mind will calm that response.

I am currently taking Celexa and Remeron.  I have never been on Abilify, and I am certainly not against the benzodiazepines, but I have to stay away from those.  I would certainly give the Abilify a chance.  I would suggest that you post your medication questions on the "Medications and Therapy" section of the Forum.

I am here for you, Jayne.  The very best to you!...  Chuck :grinning-smiley-003:
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Offline PlainJayne

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Re: Anxiety...it's baaaaack!
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2014, 02:35:53 PM »
Chuck,
I can't thank you enough for your response.  It truly made me feel much better.  The kindness and understanding here are so amazing and much appreciated!  I tend to focus more on beating myself up for the things left undone, rather than focusing on the things I can and have done.  Today seems to be a better day and that gives me hope.  Although I worry how I will make it to and through work tomorrow...one moment at a time, I suppose.
Thanks also for the suggestion on posting to the other board on Medications.  Great advice - I'm new to anything like this and appreciate the help.
Hope you are doing well today...thank you again for some much needed gentle support and understanding. :happy0151:
Jayne
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