Having an anxiety disorder sure is fun, isn't it?
So right now, I'm living in a house with a rodent problem. Nobody is really concerned about the health hazards surrounding this except for me, which makes me feel crazy. This has been adversely affecting how I eat too, because I really don't feel comfortable preparing food in a kitchen full of mouse droppings. And yes, they're deer mice.
I saw one. The good news is that I'm moving in a week, but I've been living with it for months and I can't help but feel scared.
Today, I noticed that I have approximately 3 tinytinytiny red marks under the skin on the back of my hand. Of course, I Googled them, found that they're called petechia and, oh, great, one of the causes is Hantavirus!
Another cause is Endocarditis, which is great, because I'm also incredibly cardiophobic. I'm also afraid of not being able to breathe (number one biggest phobia), which is why I'm so terrified of Hanta, so I've been hyperventilating non-stop to make sure that I can get a full breath. Everything hurts, and I'm so tired of being anxious.
After Googling (I know, it's such a bad idea!), I noticed that I have many early symptoms of Hantavirus such as headaches, muscle aches, and slight stomach problems, but my menstrual cycle also just ended, so I'm trying to be reasonable. It's probably just hormonal, but as anyone with anxiety knows, it's so hard to think rationally sometimes.
If anyone has any experience with Hantavirus, cardio, and/or petechia fears, feel free to post. Meanwhile, I'll just be over here looking for more red flecks on my body...