I'm so happy to finally have a place to share my overwhelming fear without judgment!
4 weeks ago I was on a mini-break to Eastern Europe. One night I met a man from Belgium and we hit it off, spent the best part of 7 hours chatting and laughing. At the end of the night he kissed me. It lasted for a grand total of 15 seconds and when I felt his tongue in my mouth I broke it away and said goodbye.
That was it. My only "exposure". But from that point on I convinced myself he had HIV and, because I have a bad habit of biting the inside of my mouth, he someone got blood into my mouth and it found it's way into a small bite on my lip and that's it. I have no idea of his status, but no reason to assume he had HIV. He did not appear to have any bleeding sores and I did not notice a taste of blood, yet I'm conceived he somehow had an open weeping wound in his mouth.
Now, as is the way, I've spent hours and hours researching this and no matter how much I read that the risk is so low it pretty much doesn't merit a test, I've convinced myself that Ill be the one exception in the world. I plan to have a test at 6 weeks to put this behind me and seek out some counselling.
The problem I have is that, until that time, I am convinced I have HIV. I've developed a small ulcer in my mouth (have had them before) and am convinced this is a symptom of the HIV developing. Although I can see how completely unlikely this is, the thought won't go away. I've now stopped thinking about the future and started planning what I would say to my friends and family if a positive result came back. I'm giving myself an upset stomach and headaches through sheer anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this for the next two weeks? Has anyone gone through anything similar to this?
Thank you in advance :D