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My rational brain knows how stupid I'm being, but my irrational brain won't let it go. I read that only one person has even been known to get hiv through kissing. That was prolonged, long term deep kissing between two parties that had extensive oral problems including gingivitis. I have none of those things and have done none of those things. As much as I have to remind myself of this, my irrational brain takes over with the 'oooooh but what if...'
I can SO relate to that irrational thinking!! Deep down you know you are being ridiculous but something keeps nudging at you with the "What if's" First you have to think that the odds of him being HIV + is very, very low... then the odds of catching it in that manner? That lowers the odds to zero really!
A few weeks ago I had myself convinced I had pilomotor seizure disorder - never heard of it, right? Only 20 people in the world have it and I was swearing I was number 21! I don't understand how to STOP this kind of thinking! I do get VERY angry at myself, I'll go so far as to scream at myself (when no one is home) for being so stupid, I'll call myself all kinds of names - sometimes it helps for a while
You can't get HIV like that. I don't know of any cases like that. It comes from unprotected sex and sharing needles. People used to get it through blood transfusions but now the blood is more heavily screened. HIV is not the death sentence it once was. Retrovirals have made people who are HIV+ live for a long time. They are also very close to finding a cure.
Unprotected anal and vaginal sex are the only documented proven risk factors, so wear a condom correctly during those and you are safe. Not so sure on the cure, while they now feel one will arrive in some form, I dont think its as close as media reports have led its to believe.But as you say, its now a manageable chronic illness with the right medication, rather than the death sentence it once was.