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Author Topic: obsessing about past mistakes  (Read 381 times)

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Offline ans1723

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obsessing about past mistakes
« on: February 13, 2014, 11:33:58 PM »
Anyone have experience with this?
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2014, 11:36:19 PM »
I do that quite a bit. even more so lately. I've always gotta tell myself that it's in the past, what's done is done.

Has this been pretty frequest with you?
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Offline ans1723

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2014, 11:44:29 PM »
No, just lately. I usually obsess about my health, so this has hit me out of no where. I am trying to tell myself that....and remind myself I am human. I am better now than I was even 5 hours ago. I guess that is a start. I just wish to be free from constant worry. As it has been a theme my entire life.
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2014, 11:50:50 PM »
All and all it's a mind game. There's not win or no loss. it's just how the brain works. it is what it is.

Thinking about being on top of things doesn't get you to the top... but doing positive things yield reward. :yes:
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Centuries are what it meant to me,
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Offline tinam7

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2014, 08:49:09 AM »
This is where the huge concept of Forgiveness can come into play. If we developed with an oversized Superego we tend to be very harsh on ourselves. We need a Superego but we don't need a Super Sergeant.

Forgiving myself is one mantra during meditation. Repeat it and maybe the brain will cooperate. Remember to recognize that we make decisions as best we can at the time with perhaps pressures we did not even understand at the time.

Forgive yourself.                         
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Offline Vigilance

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2014, 01:53:33 AM »
This is something I struggle with myself.

I agree that self-forgiveness is key.  For me, part of doing that is finding "redemption" through figuring out what Iíve learned from my mistakes and then applying it to the present.  I have found there is always something to be learned, even if the fault lies mostly with another and not myself.  For example, if someone insults me, and I fail to defend myself, instead of beating myself up over my failure, something I tend to do, I try to use the experience to think of new strategies on how I would handle the scenario, or a similar one, were it to happen again.  I also try not to treat others as Iíve been treated, knowing all too well how it feels to be on the other side.  Although not a cure all, this helps calm feelings of resentment and bitterness towards the person who caused me pain, another tendency of mine, as well as myself.

That said, old habits die hard, and often I make the same mistakes over and over again.  It takes repetition to see the big picture sometimes.  And as we know, we're imperfect beings living in an imperfect world. I try to go easy on myself - try being the operative word. 


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Offline growth60

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Re: obsessing about past mistakes
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2014, 10:30:41 PM »
I lost my kids 20 years ago due to a nervous breakdown. I regret that I couldn't stand up for myself. I dwell over it constantly and worked with anxiety all these years, but feel I am out of my skin, as I really wanted to be a Mother. I found Recovery International and it is my last chance to rid myself of anxiety. I try to stay in the present, but it is not always pleasant. I couldn't even feed my kids when I was left in my panic attack. I am getting better though and am grateful for this site. My children don't want me to have more regrets and are trying to help me, but it's 20 years to late and I am still homeless and they are in their 300,000 homes. I don't know what to tell them to help me, but have to try to help someone. Recovery International gives us 95 things to think about and to calm us down instead of thinking about the past. I am learning from them, but am still emotionally a small child who is shy and anxious. learn from the past and help others and relax your muscles. if you have PTSD, please seek medical attention. Stay in the present and know that we are uncomfortable with our anxiety, but it is not dangerous. thank-you,.
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