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Author Topic: Do you ever get mad about the fact...  (Read 277 times)

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Offline aec711

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Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« on: February 12, 2014, 11:09:02 PM »
that you spend so much time worrying.  I feel like I am missing out on so much fun in life because every second of the day I am worrying about my health, my husbands health, my kids etc... And when I sit back and think about it - I feel angry and cheated out of the joys of life. Uggg...then I just get depressed lol.  It is a horrible cycle - I am not sure there is a treatment for this type of anxiety.  How can there be? 

Also, how do you think you got to this point?  Is is learned, genetic or both?  I have had health anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I mean as a child I was always worried about some kind of cancer.  I spent most of my time with my grandmother who worried about anything and everything. So it could be a learned thing, but then my dad has anxiety and panic attacks - like myself and my oldest brother - so it could be genetic.  Either way, I was doomed from the beginning.
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Offline anagargano

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2014, 12:24:29 AM »
Yes its very frustrating to think how much time we waste....precious time......but you know most people have got something that holds them back ...for us its this......I try to enjoy the good times and appreciate the things I do have.....
How did it start , bad childhood lots of stress from an early age , lots responsibility from an early age, unhappy parents etc ...few genes here and there , put it all together and here I am.....everybody has thier own story Im sure...
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Offline IAMHEALTHY

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2014, 01:20:50 AM »
I remember back in late august I felt better than ever, and was excited to study and socialize, the early September everything went south. I had a huge pigout session over the weekend and had just started the gym, when I noticed I had a tiny nagging back pull type of feeling. Normally my pains end within 2-3 days, but this lingered for a week.

I googled and saw the symptoms of PanCan and before I knew it I could barely focus in class and was too worried to socialize. Then I developed an nal fissure from muscle relaxants becuz by back was having painful spasms. I got rid of the spasm but still have a nagging kink on the left side. Then I developed prostatitis which is BY FAR been worse than my back pain, it's basically intersticial cystitis in the prostate. Now it's been 6months and I've barely studied and freshened up on my anatomy, chemistry, ect..to try and get into PA school, it's just been 6months of worry.

Not to mention my doc said I had clubbed fingers, but I never noticed but looking back I know they've been that way since I was 17 and I'm 22 now but still now I worry about lungCan, I've just been so afraid and feel so helpless. I wish I could be a fun loving child again :(
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2014, 01:26:35 AM »
Do you ever get mad about the fact that you spend so much time worrying.  I feel like I am missing out on so much fun in life because every second of the day I am worrying....


That... right there.  :(
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Offline colorlessideas

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2014, 11:10:06 AM »
I get mad when I see others not appreciating their health and not caring. Coworkers that have pizza or fast food for lunch every day, smoke, don't exercise, feel perfectly healthy, and don't have a worry in the world.

Meanwhile, I'm on raw foods, low carb diet, at the gym every day, taking a dozen supplements, and I'm still constantly fearing for my health. I can't relax. I spend so much time planning out everything to ensure I won't have a day that's out of control. I can't go on vacation because I use all my sick days at the doctor.

I'm only 26 and I feel like I'm 50.
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Offline Lo213

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2014, 11:21:04 AM »
Yes, every single day. I'm jealous of all the normal people around me enjoying everything. Especially people who should worry. Like those who eat crappy and smoke, etc. it's not fair.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2014, 12:51:11 PM »
Do I EVER!!  When alone and going through one of my horrible worries I will actually scream out loud, "There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!"   I say that I just want to be normal again, that I can't take this day after day, I'll call myself names and everything else.. Yes, I get extremely angry.

My mom had health anxiety but I never SAW her or heard her worry!  (she'd tell me this when I'd be worrying!  So I have no idea where it came from, maybe it IS genetic)
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Offline PinkIcePrincess

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2014, 01:29:06 PM »
Yes since age 8!! Fear and Abuse and then growing up and having a child at age 18 getting married also and then divorced now I have no regrets about having my son he is a great man and works also owns his own home and has no bills also getting married this year....so my son is my one thing I gave to the world Positive!!
 I married a second time to a man that beat me and tried to kill me and was just horrible so divorced him and then became a single mom again and did better and worked loved my job then met my now hubby we have been together 20 years , 4 of that is dating but sadly my health took a turn for the worse in 2001... so since then I have done nothing but set and feel depressed, anxious and scared, worrying, stressed... its draining and then you add other stressors like my parents not being well my own physical health with the mental which by the way yes Genetic since my parents and my grandmothers had issues... so it was passed down to me and my brothers.... then losing loved ones didn't help at all my Brother and my Step Dad whom I loved dearly... then 5 others passed away in the same year...
 I set and look at the tv or the internet scared to move and scared to live.. but I also need a serious surgery and my moms cancer is being treated but waiting on pet scans results is freaking me out....
 I hate living like this and I have tried many therapist and different meds.. it stinks!!

Yeah worn out and drained is how I stay.. I get mad at myself because I was a worker and want to work.. I kept my house spotless .. now nothing.. I do have a Hubby who does his best and I know its draining on him but I don't hold him back from enjoying the things he loves..
I want to LIVE AGAIN so bad.. not just set and stress.
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Offline Hypo84

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2014, 01:38:40 PM »
I was always angry about my HA, but when I was very anxious/scared it was leading me to depression. Now, since I stopped Googling and my anxiety lowered I use it as fuel, so every time I start focusing on symptoms, currently tingling big toe, I just shout in my mind F*CK YOU HA. It helps...
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Offline marc

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2014, 01:40:41 PM »
It is indeed a difficult situation. I really wish that I had the ability to accept uncertainty better.
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Offline aec711

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2014, 12:07:14 AM »
Thank you all for sharing.  I would never wish any of this on my worst enemy - but I do feel better than I am not alone in this fight.  I too am jealous of people that don't worry - how can they not lol.  My husband is one of them.  He cannot understand how I do this to myself every hour of the day.  He gets frustrated - and I don't blame him.  If I had to live with me , I would be too lol.  This tends to come and go with me - well not really go - but ease up a bit.  I too cuss at my HA/Panic attacks - like it is a person lol.  I am grateful for so many things in life, but have such deep anger about this because I am missing out on so much - I also constantly worry about my husband and kids.  As if my own health isn't enough to stress about - just add in a few more people - why not lol
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Offline LivD

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Re: Do you ever get mad about the fact...
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2014, 02:49:04 AM »
Yes - that's why therapists teach self compassion and acceptance of out fears and feelings.  :yes:
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