I am ashamed to admit that a year ago in January (2013), I had an affair with my boss. I am married, however, my husband and I were separated and having some problems (he's untreated for a disorder). Me and the guy were traveling together a lot and one thing led to another. He is married as well and has never been faithful.
Anyway, we had sex a couple of times with condoms, however, a couple of times, I performed oral sex (not really something I wanted to do, but that's a different story)... Well, I was feeling so worried and guilty, that what ifs kept running through my head; even though I've read that oral sex is very low risk, esp. if there is no ejaculation in the mouth, which in my case, there wasn't.
So, I got tested with an at home Oraquick test in July of last year and it came back negative (7 months past so called exposure)... then, I tested just to be sure in September, 2013 with an at home blood test (Home Access Elisa) and that, too came back negative.
Well, in November of 2013, I became very ill with colitis. So bad that I ended up hospitalized and my vitals were AWFUL. I had a high fever, fast heart rate, etc, so I was in ICU. Talk about terrifying, esp. for a hypochondriac.
Needless to say, falling so ill put me in a tailspin panic and I was like "why am I so sick?" I must be dying. Why did this happen to me? I must have AIDS.
So, in an effort to reassure myself yet AGAIN, I took an at home Oraquick test (in December) and to my sheer horror, there was a line where it should be (on the C) and what I thought was a VERY faint incomplete line near the T. I COMPLETELY freaked out!!! I thought it was a positive since they say on the instructions that a line near the T is a positive even if it is faint. But, it didn't say anything about halfway incomplete lines.
I IMMEDIATELY ran to a planned parenthood clinic and told them what happened. They did a rapid blood test (Clearview Stat Pack) and results were back in 15 minutes. Scariest 15 minutes of my LIFE! They said (2 nurse practitioners) that there was only 1 line by the C and that I was NEGATIVE. I was very relieved. They assured me not to worry and that I could put this worry behind me. They said that they think my issue is really with the guilt of my affair and advised me to get counseling. They were very nice. I then said, do you think I need another test just to be sure? They said "no".
Well, for a while, I felt reassured, but in the back of my mind, I simply cannot let the fear of the Oraquick test go! Why did it have a faint line halfway through if it was negative? I called them and they are pretty worthless... they said it could have been a defective test.
I am so scared guys... I never want to have to take another hiv test again, as it was too traumatic for me, but do you think I need one or can I trust what the nurses told me on my last test? I wish I could simply have peace of mind. This worry has destroyed my life.
Thank you and sorry this was so long, but wanted to give all the details... I hope you guys respond!