Hello everyone! It has been ages since I used a web forum. The last one I used was about punk and hardcore music. I decided to join because I want to meet people who can let me know that I am not alone in what I am feeling. I have a very supportive family and friends but they do not have an anxiety disorder like I do and sometimes I think they will never understand.
I have been suffering with anxiety since I was around 10, but the big crisis started in 2010. I have lots of health anxiety, after my mom got breast cancer, and I believe I have a hypersensitivity to anything that goes on in my body. Since I am more aware of everything that I feel, I worry much more and more often.
I have been diagnosed with Policystic Ovarian Syndrome and IBS. Most of the times I do not know if I am feeling anxious due to my health issues or if I am having health issues due to my anxiety.
I have recently been feeling very strange, very tired, having pelvic pain and just not feeling like myself. I get like hazy, my eyes do not see well sometimes, headaches, my chest gets really tight and get lots of gas, sometimes I can not stand bright lights and everything seems brighter, I sometimes feel like I have no "soul", I get really moody, my mouth gets dry, I get hot flashes, my face turns red, I have constant negative thoughts, I always think I am going to die or my close ones, I get bad acid reflux and IBS, bloating, migraines...you name it. Feel like my skin is burning.
I am also detoxing from smoking marijuana because of a job opportunity and plan to go back to my marijuana consumption later. It helps me a lot with my anxiety, even if some people say it does the contrary. I am scared I may get cancer or some other horrible disease like MS. I get obcessed googling symptoms and then scare myself sleepless.
I am considering taking medication but am scared since having a bad experience with Effexor.
I feel really lost and do not know how to go back to the relatively normal and happy person I was before 2010. I miss that.