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Author Topic: I need some advice!  (Read 183 times)

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Offline Venomsoar

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I need some advice!
« on: February 11, 2014, 02:36:11 PM »
If you don't want to read all of this, just read the section after the stars. (BUT PLEASE READ IT ALL TO GET A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF MY SITUATION)

I have been looking through here to see if I can extract any useful information that might help me to overcome anxiety - I have made another thread here before as well asking for some example situations that I could use to expose myself. I never really got anything useful. And I haven't found anything of much use if I am to be honest.

I have multiple "goals" if you like to achieve in a limited amount of time and I feel like my social anxiety is going to prevent me from achieving them. So, right now, I am literally not interested in anything but useful information to ease this problem as much as I possibly can.

My goals are as follows:

1. There is a girl from my university and I know we both like each other (although we have never spoke to each other). She isn't in any of my classes because she is taking a different course. Obviously, I want to initiate something because it is very rarely that I am this confident about someone liking me. I know she does. The problems are as follows: we are both shy so neither of us are confident enough to approach one another (although she did smile at me once which frustratingly, I just smiled back but simultaneously looked down). I barely see her. This term, I have only literally seen her once (we crossed paths going from one session to another but we both maintained eye contact the whole way). So not only do I have limited time (I leave in June time), I have very limited opportunities (I maybe only another 2 or 3 times to initiate something).

2. I have multiple projects coming up which involve me having to approach clients. Not only do I have the problem of sourcing clients to work with (I am taking a music technology course) - but of course, I have the problem of having the confidence and nerve to approach them and work with them (this is apart of the project). The other project I have to deal with is that I have to deliver a 10 minute presentation that I have to present to a panel of 4 - I have been told it is like dragons den in there (I hope some of you have seen this). The problems with this is that not only do I have to have a working idea (which involves a lot of research, work and imagination), and I have to actually put something together to present, but I also have this social anxiety which only adds to all this stress.

These are my goals. The positives are that the girl I want to initiate something with, I actually found her on a social media website (you probably know what I am talking about) (I know her name :D) - I know this is pretty creepy but I saw one of her friends and so I looked through her friends list to find her. I have not added her though and I won't. I actually want to approach her in real life and ask for her name and everything. As for the projects and presentation that I have upcoming, I have no positives there I am afraid.

So as you can tell, I really need to overcome this. I have a few months. I REALLY need the best advice you can possibly give. I also really need some examples of situations that I can get myself in to expose myself in order to ease the anxiety. You would literally be a life saver. I have actually contemplated 0119 because of these problems that I have to deal with. So in a literal sense, you could be a life saver.

If I am able to beat this, this could possibly end in the best way ever. Not only could I end up delivering great work and therefore passing my degree, but I could also walk away with what I believe to be a really nice girl. I don't have too much hopes though (it may have a big negative impact if I fail so I don't want to put too much hope into this). But of course, I am confident that I will at least give it a go. But I really need to deal with this social anxiety.

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Summary: I have two goals to meet before July and they are as follows: 1) Approach a girl and 2) Deliver a great presentation. My social anxiety I feel is going to let me down. Therefore I need the best advice possible. Specifically, if you can give me some examples of situations that I could expose myself (my anxiety not my body) (perhaps from less severe to most severe in terms of how distressing they would be), you would in a literal sense be a life saver.
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