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Author Topic: convinced I have lymphoma....just anxiety? or am I being reasonable?  (Read 340 times)

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Offline mustardtiger56

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So two months ago I noticed 2 pea sized lumps under my chin. I saw my doctor and he gave me a round of antibiotics which didn't have any effect on them. While taking the antibiotics I noticed some more lymph nodes in my armpits, they are all flat and the largest is about 2cm according to ultrasound. Since discovery none have changed, however on the last day if antibiotics I was feeling around and found 3 more pea sized nodes running down my neck into the supraclavicular area. I panicked because this area is known to present with lymphoma. So I scheduled an appointment with my surgeon who was absolutely unconcerned and did a blood test and chest xray which both came back normal. However this was not enough for me, so I asked for referral to another surgeon who also was unwilling to do a biopsy and said that they have to be more than 1cm but it was obvious that some were well over that size, I explained this to him and he just shrugged it off and said that unless they get noticeably larger to quit worrying. So for the last few weeks I have been waiting for them to get larger and so far they have not. In fact its been close to 3 months since I noticed the first nodes under my chin and those haven't even changed yet. I received an ultrasound of both armpits and although they detected lymph nodes the report came back saying benign nodes measuring no more than. 2.5cm found in each axilla. On Saturday after being told that Hodgkin's Lymphoma nodes become painful sometimes after drinking alcohol, I tested while out with some friends. I didn't feel any obvious and lasting pain, but about 120 mins later after my third drink I did experience a little bit of short dull pain in my collarbone that lasted a few seconds, as well as a slight pain in my neck that lasted a few seconds. I'm assuming this was caused by anxiety because my pain lasted only a few seconds and doesn't sound like the excruciating long lasting pain described by most Hodgkin's patients prior to diagnosis. However I can't stop thinking about it, although I've been feeling fine, I feel like pushing for a referral to another surgeon for biopsy, even though two have already said no to it. What do you guys think, am I overly anxious or should I still push for biopsy?
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Offline hachiko

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Re: convinced I have lymphoma....just anxiety? or am I being reasonable?
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2014, 04:14:58 PM »
You need to let this go :) you are fine!! Surgeons and doctors are not concerned.. ultrasounds came back clear!!! But i feel you really... went for an ultrasound too for a lymph node in neck and it was benign but still i worry! Yet we should not be worried, we should celebrate the fact that WE ARE FINE...

I wanted to test with alcohol too but decided not to. Because of course i would feel some pain since it is all i would wait for. For sure my brain would tell me that i am feeling some ridiculous pain and i would jump to the conclusion that oh this must be lymphoma!!!!  B-;

Don't wait around for them to grow, they won't. Stop touching them or they might get bigger! but not because you have lymphoma... And if really you have to wait, then wait.... but enjoy your life during that wait so that if they do get bigger, you don't regret not having lived your life while you could.

I am telling you this, but truthfully I am saying this to myself too :)
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Offline mustardtiger56

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Re: convinced I have lymphoma....just anxiety? or am I being reasonable?
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2014, 06:33:06 PM »
Its like I go through phases, one minute I'll be on my doctors side and believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong. The next minute I'll be examining my lymph nodes that haven't changed in 8 weeks(pretty much rules out lymphoma) and the anxiety kicks in and before I know it I'm back at square one.  I used to be a worry free super outgoing person. I was 17, had been competing in lots of sports, great social life, good grades and was looking forward to joining the Canadian Military. Then I found out that I had severe allergies so I was disqualified from that, which was a huge morale blow because I had been looking forward to the military my entire life. I moved on from that and shortly after began having a lot of weird health symptoms that I had never experienced before. So I started using Dr. Google to try and figure it out myself, which was stupid and the main reason why I am where I am today in terms of HA. After reading so many stories of guys my age getting diagnosed with horrible diseases after experiencing my symptoms I began experiencing a little bit of HA. This lymph node thing was just the icing on the cake, I am no longer the mentally and physically well person I was because the stress of the last three months of tests, and waiting for doctors  really took a toll on me. Such is life I suppose, I'm sure I'll deal with it and get past this at some point.
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Offline Gemmal

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Re: convinced I have lymphoma....just anxiety? or am I being reasonable?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2014, 12:02:55 PM »
Hi Mustard Tiger,

I just wanted to let you know that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling! I have been petrified of hodgkins for two years now!!! Its insane. It all started with the pain with drinking alcohol, after I stupidly googled after having sore glands after a heavy night of drinking ( not to mention I had sore glands the day before) so it probably wasn't from the alcohol . Since then I have become obsessed with it, I swear I feel pain in all lymph areas ( even experiencing pain as soon as I found out you had lymph nodes in your knee area etc) , its madness, doctors are telling me I am imagining it, which I now start to think I am. I mean two years down the line I have no swollen nodes, no weight loss, nothing ( and stating the obvious I am not dead).

I have all the relevant bloods even the more important crp , ldh and a chest x ray,

Anyway, the point is the brain can make you produce any symptoms if it really really wants to, and trust me anxiety really wants it too :P.

Funny thing is, I still have niggling worries and a complete panic attack always the day after drinking, then I break out in itching all over ( obviously another symptom) and I am completely fine by Monday! Its absolute hell.

Hope you are feeling better.

Gemma
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